


Keep your eyes on the PRIDE

by mischiefunicorn



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Drabble, Eventual Smut, F/F, Feelings, Fluff and Smut, M/M, Post-Hogwarts, Pride, Reunions, Slow Burn, Summer
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-03
Updated: 2018-08-30
Packaged: 2019-05-17 19:46:35
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 21
Words: 37,792
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14838044
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mischiefunicorn/pseuds/mischiefunicorn
Summary: London buzzes during the pride parade.Harry Potters life buzzes along with it.The first time at the parade gives him much more than pride.





	1. What to Wear -closet rummaging

Chapter 1

 

As the whole city of London buzzes with life with just a few days to the Highlight of the pride month, the annual pride parade, Harry Potter buzzes around nervous for his first pride march, and first truly public appearance as an out member of the gay community. Hes been out a few weeks and even if he's not totally sure what he is, he sure isn't straight. He kind of likes girls too, so maybe he is bisexual, but for now the overall term "queer" feels good. He says it out loud at home while looking trough his closet to find something to put on for the parade,  
"I am Harry Potter and I am queer"  
Yes, that's right. 

Growing up without any kind of love or affection has surely left a mark in him, finding it hard to identify the different feelings and emotions of himself and especially other people. Thankfully, he thinks, he has had some really close friends helping him figure this whole sexuality and romance thing out. And now, with a lot of support and late night talks with the persons closest to him he can proudly say he is queer. Leaning towards gay but he can't rule out every possibility for love, not after the emotionless childhood he has had, and the fact that he has dated girls before and actually loved them, physically and mentally. Ginny being one of the girls in his life. Harry thinks he always knew they weren't meant to be but he sill thinks they had the best relationship he has ever been in and is truly happy for Ginny finding the true love she deserves in Luna. Now that is a couple meant to be, he thinks and chuckles tossing another shirt on the bed. Not that one either. 

He looks around at the pile of clothing on the bed, the few jeans scattered on the floor and the almost empty closet and decides it is time to give up and go shopping. With the two girls in mind he sends them a text asking them to join him at the mall. They set up a shopping-date for the next day and Harry starts putting away all the clothes he just took out. He just has to find something wearable tomorrow or it's gonna be too late, it is already Wednesday and the parade is on Saturday. 

He is going to have some brunch with Ron and Hermione on Saturday and probably wont have any time over for, well just about anything, his calendar is smacked. Harry thinks about his best friends, the others of "the golden trio" and can't help but feel a little jealous. They have been together since the fifth year, gone trough hell as individuals and as a couple and is probably the strongest people Harry knows. Now they're expecting their first baby and couldn't be happier. It stings even if Harry doesn't like to admit it. Harry knows especially Ron is freaking out about the baby but who wouldn't be? They're gonna be alright, Harry just knows it. They've already asked Harry to be the godfather to the baby and of course he said yes, but with a heavy heart as the matter always reminded him of Sirius. His own godfather who were killed just a year after Harry learning about his very existence. Hurtful memories like this only accentuates the fact that he has no one by his side, for better or for worse, and he knows deep down he hates to be alone, but hasn't really met his soulmate. And not to mention he is sick of looking for that person, not one place seems fit to meet the someone special. Maybe the parade will take care of that Harry wonders, feeling hopeful, while he puts the last t-shirt back in the closet. 

***

-Oh my god! Harry you have to get this one! The red headed girl seems way too cheerful for it to be a good thing Harry thinks when he turns around to look at what Ginny found for him. "oh my" is his initial response to the sleeveless white shirt with a unicorn, a rainbow and a little white kitten riding the unicorn.  
-You just have to get that. Luna tunes in taking Ginny's hand and kissing it proudly. Harry groans loudly.  
-You have got to be kidding me! He exclaims an sighs.  
-It's not really... my style. He tries to come up with some excuses but the girls wont listen.  
-Just think about how good this would look on you with a pair of black ripped shorts! Ginny says exited focusing way more on Luna than Harry.  
-Oh yes! Luna exclaims and Harry knows he don't stand a chance to the girls when they set their mind on something.  
Harry sighs dramatically and smiles internally for he really is grateful for the help and support the girls have given him.  
-Fine, I'll try that thing on then. 

Harry walks to the fitting room and tries on the shirt. "It actually does look good on me", Harry thinks looking in the mirror. He is quite well built after many Quidditch years and working out in the gym. His well sculpted shoulders look even broader in the narrow shirt and his pecks get the attention they deserve. Harry turns around to look at his ass when Ginny pushes the curtain away to take a look at Harry. 

-Hey! He yells and blushes a bit.  
-Oh come on Harry! She sighs loudly and rolls her eyes.  
-I've seen you naked, we dated remember!? Harry sighs and throws his arms to the side, strikes a little pose and asks,  
-Well, what do you think? He can tell by the giggles of the girls that the shirt is spot on, for the parade at least, and smiles.  
-Well that settles that then. He says and turns around to take the shirt off.  
-Not so fast! Luna screams and gives Harry a minor heart attack.  
-Try these on as well. She adds, throws a pair of black jeans shorts with mostly holes on the thighs, at Harry and walks away.  
-I'll look over here! She says while her blond hair disappears around the corner. Harry sighs but turns around to try on the shorts.  
-A little privacy, please! He says to Ginny when she doesn't close the curtain.  
-Fine. I'll just stand here, then. She pulls the curtain and Harry checks its surely closed before he takes his pants off. 

Its weird to be half naked around Ginny, especially after everything they had. Harry sometimes misses her, or maybe just to have someone around. Ginny truly was his rock after the war and he just can't be mad for how things turned out eventually. Ginny started seeing Luna before they were officially over, and even though Harry sometimes is bitter about it he knows it was his actions that pushed her into Luna's lap. After all Ginny gave him, he gave nothing in return, shutting her out of his life. He tried to protect her of unnecessarily grieve but after Fred's death he realized nothing could protect anyone from the war and the pain it caused. He should have been there for her more and stronger but couldn't and now he is alone and Ginny is happy. Harry swallows hard and fights the tears. A voice brakes his string of thoughts asking "what's taking him so long". Harry buttons the shorts up and draws the curtains away. 

-Wow! Ginny gasps.  
-Luna you got to see this! Harry is nervous, what does Ginny mean "see this"? He looks at himself in the mirror and is quite taken away by the way he looks.  
-Ah! Harry! Luna sighs and claps her hands.  
-You look gorgeous like that! She smiles her heartwarming from the heart all love smile and Harry melts a bit inside.  
-Thanks I guess. He says blushing.

Both girls hug him and he is glad he went shopping with these two. Just before the moment gets too emotional for all three of them Harry breaks apart and says, with a small shiver on his voice,  
-Well then, lets go get these bagged an go get some ice cream.  
The girls giggle again and leave Harry to change back into his own clothes. 

Harry stands there by the mirror a while just looking at himself. "I am quite handsome" he thinks and smiles to himself. And the girls were right, as usual, the clothes look great on him. He would normally never dress like that but its a very special occasion, and maybe he does need to update his wardrobe. Harry takes off the clothes and leaves the fitting room smiling from ear to ear. He has a feeling in the pit of his stomach that this is gonna be a good weekend.


	2. Change of plans

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harry meets up with Hermione and Ron and the day takes a whole other turn than planned

The coffee shop is filled to the brim with people. Harry has a hard time finding Ron and Hermione, they texted they were already inside. He looks around and is getting more and more nervous by the minute. He stands up on his toes and spots the pair sitting in a corner by the window. 

They seem sunken in a conversation and seems to be able to ignore all the commosion going on around them. Harry smiles and feels a bit jelaous for their happiness. Harry just wants to find someone to get lost in. To not notice the surroundings, to totally surrender himself in the embrace of that person. To love and cherish and hold hands. And cuddle and kiss. Just to be with someone. A small flicker of a thought lingers on the edges of his conciousness but doesn't really show itself. 

Someone bumps in to Harry, apologizes and Harry realizes he is standing in the way for the que to the register. He gets his way to the table trough the mass and cheerfully hellos his friends. They turn around at the same time and even though its hardly been a few days since they last met, Ron exlaims "Harry" with the enthusiams of a five year old who gets a lollipop. He stands up and they hug fast.

-Hi guys. Harry says and turnes to Hermione who huffs and puffs trying to stand up.   
-No! Harry says, you just sit and relax. He smiles and bows down to hug Hermione. She hugs him back hard and Harry is sure he can feel the baby shift a bit i her stomach. Hermione grunts lightly as they release echother.  
-And hows my little Beanie? Harry asks and gently touches Hermiones round belly.   
-Beanie is kicking quite much today she says and holds her back. I could hardly sleep last night she says, and darts at Ron. And my dear husbands snoring did'nt really help. Ron chuckles nervously and Harry just laughs. 

He is so happy to see them still together after all they've been trough, the war and aftermath, losing loved ones and the stupid mistakes they've both beeing doing. Harry grabs the chair beside Ron and sit down. After awhile the waitress, "who is very cute may I point out to you Harry" Hermione adds, takes their order and brings them some water.   
-Hermoine.. Harry sighs. I'm not looking for anyone now, I'm fine... like this. He says way too hastly and shakingly to sound like he is meaning it. Hermione smiles softly. 

-Sure, Harry. She says and he can hear the pity in her voice. This was not the direction he wanted the conversation to flow. Harry quickly tells them about their shoppingspree with Ginny and Luna and describes the outfit he was forced to buy. Ron and Hermione laugh out loud. Hermoines laugh abriuptluy stops as she grabs her back. Ron seems to faint or panic as he ask whats wrong.

-Oh its nothing. Hermione says calmly and tries to hide the painful look with a broad smile. It was just a small contraction. She says and massages her back a little.   
-Are you sure? Ron looks more than suspicious. She nods and wawes her hand.   
-Where were we? Right Harry is gonna look incredible today. She says and smiles so genuinly Harrys heart melts. 

Sometimes he wonders how the world would look like if they've had fallen in love with eachother, he and Hermione, and not her and Ron. Then Harry is always reminded that even if he love Hermione fondly there never were that spark between then. And no matter how deep the love is, it is not enough for a that kind of relationship without the spark. Recently Harry is getting more and more sure his spark only lights for the same sex as he. He just wants to find that special guy he goes perfectly with, like Ron and Hermione go pefectly with each other. His deep thought are interrupted by the arriving food and he realises how hungry he is. All the butterflies in his stomach lately has made eating a bit hard but for a moment he totally forgets what iss coming. They eat with a good appetite and the party is silent for a while. Hermione speaks again continuing on the same topic as before the food. 

-Maybe you'll meet someone today. She says and smiles like she knows something Harry does'nt. Can Hermione tell the fututre now? Harry shrugs and tries to say casually " I hope so" failing totally. Ron and Hermione exchange looks and smile to eachother. An awkward silence falls and they continue eating. After a few minutes that feels like forever Harry breaks the silence and tries to start a conversation that has nothing to do with the event ahead of them. Failing miserably at that again. 

-Are you sure you're up to come? He asks Hermione with a concerned look on his face. You have been rubbing your back multiple times already. Its quite a walk. He adds to make his point clearer.   
-Shush now! Im fine! Hermione snaps a bit harsher than usual which is not confirming enough. Harry and Ron look at eachother and they know its pointless to argue against Hermione. She has her mind set on going and nothing is gonna change that. Or so they thought. 

After eating they get upto leave, Harry still has to change clothes, and Ron tries one last time to get Hermione to skip the march. But Hermione wont listen to that. She leaves the boys looking at eacher and signhing deeply to use the restroom. Ron throws his hands to the side and says   
-She is so stubborn! Harry nods.   
-She just wants to show we fully support you and your sexuality. He adds and smiles at Harry. 

He knows Ron has had a bit of a difficult time dealing with his orientation but he has really been trying his best. And Harry knows he overcame the initial shock, with the help of Ginny and Luna and Dean and Seamus. Harry nods to Ron again and says,   
\- I know, but I know you support me even if you sit this one out. Ron nods. I know mate, its just impossible to get her to budge on this one. Especially when its your first parade. Harry smiles realising it is indeed his first Pride parade, and he is so exited about it.   
-I think there will be many more to come.   
-Say that to her. They chuckle and Harry is reminded of the old days, happy days at Hogwarts.

Hermione comes back from the restroom with a weird look on her face.   
-Honey are you okay? Ron asks hastly and puts his arm around her shoulder.   
-I'm.. My... my water just broke. She says quietly. Ron looks totally petrified.   
-What??!!  
-My water just broke! Hermione says only now realising what that really means. Harry just stands there looking stupidly at his friends.

-Oh my god that means the baby is about to come! Harry snaps out of it and gets his phone faster that ever. He dials the number to the emergency and calmy explains in the phone his friends water just broke at the coffeeshop and they will be wating outside, since they didin't come with a car. They ask all kind o questions and Harry just repeats them to Hermione who answers them and repeat them back to the phone. They hang up and the trio goes outside to wait for the ambulance that should arrive shortly. Ron is fuzzing about and makes Hermione sit in one the terrance chairs. He tells her constantly to be calm and breathe but is hyperventilating for himself. Harry tries to calm Ron down, and himself at the same time.

-Harry Im so sorry. Hermione says with tears building up in her eyes.  
-For what? Harry asks even though he already knows the answer.   
-For not being able to to be there with you. On your first pride parade. By your side.   
-'Mione, really its fine! I think this is a bit bigger than some annual parade. This is the only time you give birth to your first baby. Harry hugs Hermione and strokes her back gently.

-Besides im not going anymore, ill go to the hospital with you. Hermione pushes Harry away hard and almost shouts.  
-Harry James Potter! You will do no such thing!   
-'Mieone. Its fine! it really is!

-No. I wont have you there. Harry tries to say something against her but she cuts him off immideatly.   
-No and thats final. You will go to the parade. We will text you when there is something to tell. Well tell you when you can come visit us and Beanie. Understood? Hermione looks at harry with such a piercing fierce look Harry has no choice but to nod. 

The ambulance arrives and they help Hermione in the back and tell Ron he can come along if he wants and he just squeals something as he climbs up the back. Harry thanks the personnel and says to Ron to take care on Hermione and to text as soon as there is something t tell. Ron is all white and just nods. They close the doors and Hermione shout to Harry "have fun" just as the door hides away his friends in the bright car. And so the ambulance curves of the sidewalk and takes off to the hospital. 

What a day and its hardly noon Harry thinks as he wawes goodbye to the ambulance. "I wonder what else this day has in store". 

 

" Hi Seamus, Its Harry.   
Are you going to the pride parade today?   
Can I join you, Hermione decided to have the baby right now. "

"Hi Harry!   
Sure!   
Meet us outside our flat in one hour!   
Looking forward seeing you again! ;)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally the next chapter! Woopwoop!  
> I'll try and post a bit more frequently,   
> sorry for the slow build up,  
> thanks for reading!  
> All messing up is on me, either if it's the writing or the context.  
> Cheers Mate!


	3. This is it

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> New plans gets put into action. May the festivities begin!

Harry looked at his reflection in the mirror in his hallway. Oh my, this really is it. I'm officially queer. Damn it feels GOOD!

He turned around to look at his butt. Nice and round in these a bit too tight black ripped jeans shorts. He has got to give it to Ginny and Luna, they really pulled this one off, Harry is surprised by the confidence boost the outfit is giving him. He smiles a wide cheeky smile and decides then and there, he will not come home alone today. 

Even if would be just a one night thing which he usually isn't into. Today just wants to feel the heat of another body moving in the same rhythm as his, the heart beating at the same pace as his. "Shit, I should not think about stuff like this now". He realizes it has been a while since he's been touched. By another person or himself for that matter. He struggles awhile with his thoughts but he know its too late, he is already half hard. Why did he have to think about bodies entwined, rocking, glistening with sweat. It twitches. Harry looks at his phone. He should be at Seamus' and Dean's flat in 24 minutes. He will make it. He is ready, he just has to take care of one little, well maybe not that little, matter first. 

 

He is exactly three minutes early. Which is plenty of time to panic about just about anything and everything . Is he properly dressed? Is his hair good? Is he good? Was this such a good idea after all? What will Seamus and Dean think about him? Are they going just the two of them or are they part of a bigger group? Will they approve of Harry? Will he look stupid in front of them? Will they see how insecure he feels? The questions fly around his brain with an accelerating speed and suddenly he feels dizzy. He tries to calm himself down by taking deep soothing breaths. After the third deep breath someone grabs his shoulder and he swears he jumps 5 feet off the ground. He spins around.

-Hi, Harry mate ! Long time no seen! Seamus said with his thick accent. Harry didn't even have time to say hi back before Seamus hugged him firmly and patted his back hard a few times. Seamus squeezed him one more time before letting him go and Harry just squealed something that sounded vagely like "yeah its been too long"  
-Man, Let me look at you! Seamus said taking a few steps back. Harry blushes and looks down.  
-Wow, youve really grown up right. He says winking at Harry who blushes even deeper. 

-Yeah its nice to see you again Harry. Dean joins the conversation and hugs Harry too. Its a softer and warmer hug.  
-So how have you been? He asks parting from the hug and patting Harrys shoulders with both hands.  
-Good, I've been good. He says and knows it's the stupid nothing telling answer no one likes to hear.  
-Good. Dean smiles and lets Harry's shoulders go.  
-Nice outfit, he says and chuckles softly.  
-You think? im not sure if this is.. is appropriate for the occasion? Ginny and Luna helped me pick it out... Harry realises he rambles and falls silent. 

-Keep calm, it's great! Seamus laughs.  
-Its my first time at this Pride parade. Harry blurts as he needs to confess something really desperately.  
-And? Seamus says lifting an eyebrow.  
-Better late than never right? Harry nods.  
-I heard you just recently came officially out as queer. Dean adds.  
-Yeah. Harry blushes again.  
-Hey, its okay. Its different for all of us. You know coming out. Dean pats Harrys back confortingly.  
-Well, shall we leave then? Seamus asks and holds his hand out for Dean to grab.  
-Yes. Harry and Dean both answer at the same time and so they head towards the starting point for the parade.

Harry feels like a little child in a candy store. There is so much to look at and so much that amazes him. All the colors, all the people dressed up in rainbows and colorful outfits and leather and it all. There is people of all the sorts, gay, lesbian, bisexual, drag queens and kings, trans persons, people in average clothes , people in costumes, young, middle aged, old. Balloons, banners and flags. All he can hear is music and cheers and laughter. He instantly feels at home. With his people. 

The community hits him like a fist in the face. Everybody he walks past says "hi" or nods a few even winking at him. Wow. Harry feels overwhelmed by all the attention he is getting but since they're all so friendly it feels kind of nice for a change. Harry looks around and thanks Merlin he wanked before coming here, all the good looking men makes his jeans shorts a bit tighter by the moment. 

They walk to the corner of the next block and Harry's nervousness comes back washing over him like a tide wave. He Sees a group of men, maybe twelve blokes standing as a click by the corner and they all wear matching jeans wests. Harry only now notices Dean and Seamus wearing wests like the group. Oh no, they are having a get together with people Harry never met before. Harry is a bit shy with new people and he rush of thoughts comes back and slaps him like a wet towel. His palms sweats and his fingers starts drumming against each other rapidly like the wings of an hummingbird. 

Harry feels his panic levels rise, all the stress and excitement during the last few days have taken a toll on him and suddenly he feels really tired. He seriously considers running away but just as his feet are taking a few shorter steps to do a 180 degrees turn Seamus yells and waves to the group of blokes. They all turn towards them and wave and shout excitedly and cheerfully. Dean waves back and also yells "hi". Harry can't back down anymore, he just has to face the group. 

After being introduced to them and them introducing themselves to Harry he feels silly for panicking before. All seem really nice and no one looks funnily at Harry or ignores him. He soon finds out why they have matching denim wests, they are all part of their local pubs Gay Darts club. The club isn't really that official but they get together weekly to just talk, drink some beer and play darts. The club started out with just a few members but all brought some friend with them and now they are a group of 15 blokes that meet regularly. 

"All can't come to every meeting and not all are even gay, for example Matt over there. He came with his brother Dustin, the one with pink shoes, and just stuck around. We are open for all, of course". Harry nods as Dean explains the background of the club.  
"We all have became really good friends and come here to join the parade each year. This is our sixth year in a row, I think". Harry nods again and feels a bit stupid he never got so close with Dean and Seamus to know they have a own Gay Darts Club. Harry doesn't really burn for darts but he sure could've been participating just to get to belong somewhere like this. 

They all seemed to be like family for each other and Harry only now realized how small his own family was. Sure his own flesh and blood family was dead but Ron and Hermione, Ginny and Luna ant the Weasley's were like a family for him. A very close family but that's was about it. He didn't really have close friends. More of acquaintances than friends. Harry felt so lonely and embarrassed. Dean and Seamus took him with them without hesitation and he didn't even thank them properly. 

-Dean?  
-Yeah Harry?  
-Thank you for letting me tag along. I really like your club.  
-I knew you would like them. Dean smiled at Harry and Harry felt tears burn behind his eyes. 

-Thanks for everything Harry almost whispered but Dean heard and hugged Harry tight.  
-Its okay, your welcome. He whispered in Harry's ear. They broke apart and Seamus patted Harry's back.  
-Overwhelming, ain't it? He asked softly.  
-Yeah. Harry stuttered a bit. I never knew you had such a close.. pack. He said and smiled embarrassed.

-You have Seamus to thank for that. Dean smiled and kissed his boyfriends cheek.  
-He just started to talk to some blokes at our usual hangout, got along great and a few years later here we are. You're welcome to join us if you like.  
-Really? Harry blushed.  
-Yeah I'd like that, thanks. Obviously Harry looks very vulnerable because suddenly both Seamus and Dean drag him in a big hug. 

-I'm sorry i never got closer to you in school. Harry says a bit muffled.  
-Well we didint exactly try so much ourselves either. Seamus says with a chuckle.  
-But here we are now. Dean says and Harry relaxes a bit in their embrace. It's nice that they finally bonded. 

Harry knew from an early stage that they were gay but didn't feel like he deserved to be around them when he struggled so long with his orientation. Harry felt guilty for a long time liking the wrong kind and didn't really admit to himself he might be different. He tried to fit in the straight mold but it made him feel even worse. In school he had so much distraction he never really thought about it. Then the war came and destroyed Harry's sense of emotion totally. '

It took him years to identify normal feelings after that. And years to realize he could also love and be aroused of different persons. Everybody always expected certain things from him and it took serious work to realize no one could force him live up to the ridiculous expectations. It was a rocky road but Harry had finally came to terms with himself. 

He knew who he really was on the inside. During the process he had to face a lot of repressed feelings, especially from the years at Hogwarts, and a few of them were still hard to even think about. But he was working on them. And slowly but surely getting each and everyone of the last loose ends woven in to the big picture. 

But there was that one that no matter how hard he tied the end it always got loose again.  
Recently it crossed his mind more often. 

Dean poked his shoulder and Harry snapped out of his thoughts.  
-Yeah?  
-The parade is starting now. He smiled at Harry like he knew what, or who, he was thinking about. Harry couldn't help but blush as he took his place in their group formation. Luckily he was quite in the middle, he was a bit hidden behind the others. They had some kind of simple choreography they performed during the walk and Harry messed the march the least up from his spot.  
Thank Merlin.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi again,  
> sorry for not posting so often.  
> I'm on vacation so I'll try and get more chapters out.  
> All messing up is on me,  
> Cheers mate!


	4. The Parade

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> And so the parade begins

I soak myself in the experience totally.

I draw in deep breaths smelling everything, tasting everything, sensing everything.   
Around me is a whole new world, bright and warm.   
Not just from the summer and the almost scorching sunshine but from the energy of the people surrounding me. 

I close my eyes for second and feel the vibrations all around me. The pulsating, rhythm filled music, the upbeat bass that makes the ground slightly tremble   
and low thumping of all the thousand feet that march in a weird steady symphony. 

I can feel the frequency of the singing, talking, shouting and laughing, lifting the hair on my arms.   
The air is filled with a tickling electricity. 

I feel drunk, almost intoxicated by all the different stimulation's that makes the air around us thick and living.   
I open my eyes and feel like I see the world for the first time. 

Everything around me amazes me, the bright and vibrant colors, the light of the sun reflecting on the balloons, banners and flags,   
the people and their bodies, different shapes, lengths, colors.   
But all moving as the same. As one. 

I feel in touch with my most inner self, with the humankind itself.   
And i love it.   
Nothing has ever made me feel like this, so empowered. 

I see a glimpse of a platinum blonde head, and it suddenly hits me.   
I have felt something like this before.   
In school. Not as powerful as this but the feeling is the same. 

I feel alive. A rush of adrenaline rushes trough my body and I tremble for a second.   
Oh god. I... I try my hardest to push the memories away but they sweep over me with the brutal force of a tsunami. 

Playing Quidditch, rushing trough the air so high I feel the cold biting my cheeks. Seeing the golden little ball right before me.   
I love flying and playing Quidditch as a seeker, nothing special.   
But then new memories rush in with the second brute force wave. 

Its the same but everywhere I look I see the blond hair, beside be, in front of me, under me, above me.   
Yes Malfoy played Quidditch too. Nothing weird there, he was trying to catch the snitch too.   
I never truly realized how much I focused on him. How he looked , how he flew. 

I close my eyes and can see the most vivid picture of him flying beside me also trying to catch the snitch a few arm lengths before us.   
I look at him. He looks at me. Our Eyes meet.   
And there is nothing else. Just his deep, ice cold grey eyes. I feel like drowning in them but it feels good. 

I can see the rivalry in his expression but his eyes hide something else. Much deeper. something warm and... flickering.   
A fire, perhaps. I think it is a fire because suddenly I feel all warm inside.   
Bubbling like the magma surrounding the core of the earth.   
The hotness rise and i feel my cheeks blush. 

I force myself to cut off the thinking and open my eyes as wide as I can. It helps, for a second.   
I try to concentrate on what is happening around me.   
The balloons swaying in the slight breeze, Dustin's pink shoes in front of me, the catchy song that plays on the truck behind us. 

Nothing helps. Nothing can erase the piercing grey eyes and the weird burning sensation they give me.   
I feel like a fenix on the inside, burning all over.   
I suddenly realize even my crotch feels like its on fire. 

Oh god. 

I just can't help but wonder what the fresh hell all this is suppose to mean.   
A little voice in my had keeps whispering "I know what it means" but I ignore it.   
Or at least try. Somehow I manage to press all of the weird awakenings somewhere deep and actually enjoy the rest of the parade. 

Luckily the walk is not that long, maybe a distance of a few miles, I can't figure it out since I have no idea what streets we have been walking.   
I just know were soon coming to the big central park, Hyde park. 

I understood there was gonna be some kind of park party after the parade, a huge gathering with a few food stations and some events, like a fair.   
Maybe I can find Ginny and Luna there? They're also walking the parade but with a group of girls and they made very clear they can't do exceptions for anybody, even me.   
Its okay I was gonna go with Ron and.. Hermione!   
Oh, I just remembered why they're not here. I dig my phone of my pocket and check it. Nothing, they must be still in labor.  
Or not yet? I have no clue of how the babies actually get here, yeah I know how and from where, ha ha very funny, but not how long it usually takes.   
I put my phone away, they will call me later.   
When baby Beanie is here. It doesn't take long for me to get back in the parade mood. 

The parade has drove in to the park as a long string of trucks and groups. The first truck drive all the way around the park until its behind the last truck.   
The parade forms a circle around the center of the park and there is the tents with food and beer and ice cream. Some of the trucks has some kind of event, like a drag show, a DJ, dancers, female strippers and of course male strippers. As the circle is complete the organisation who is in charge of the whole event gives a small speech.

"Ladies and gentlemen, and everything in between and out of the chart.   
Thank you for participating in the parade.   
And now, welcome to the biggest park party London has ever seen.  
We have everything you need, something to eat, to drink, to hear and naturally see.   
Please enjoy yourself and have the best of time in this beautiful summer weather!   
May the festivities begin and the rainbows never fade away! Thank you!"

The crowd cheers and all make their way to what they want to do.   
"What will happen next?" I wonder as my newfound group starts to move with the crowd that soon scatters all around the park.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks y'all for your patience!  
> I'll try to get this going a bit faster, surprisingly  
> though Harringrove keeps distracting me!  
> All messing up is on me.  
> Thanks for reading,  
> cheers mate!


	5. On the stage

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harry wanders around the festival and stumbles upon   
> something very interesting indeed.

I try my best to keep up with the gay Darts Club but somehow I manage to lose sight of every single one of them. 

I look around for any sign of any of them but its pointless. The crowd is too big and too tight. I decide to walk around by myself, its hardly a bad idea since I can't shake the weird feelings I managed to dig up. I feel nervous again and my fingers are drumming against each other again. I feel like there is something I should do but I can't exactly pin down what. 

I feel like something is happening and i'm somehow supposed to react to that. But i don't. I have no idea what it could be. My feelings feels like a huge mess and my thoughts the same. They just run around in circles in my head making me dizzy. And most of the thoughts feels like they're in a different language I don't even understand. Sounds great right! 

And some thoughts I just don't let get int my consciousness. Those who tap on the sides of my mind but I shuffle them away. Those who desperately try to gain my focus but I sense I'm not ready for that just yet. 

I walk around mindlessly and even though I'm seeing all kind of tents and people I'm not really present. A few says "hi" but I answer mostly with nods, which clearly tells the opponent I'm not gonna be a good conservationist. They smile and turn around to talk to some more accessible strangers. I feel a bit bad for being so inactive. 

I was supposed to take someone home tonight. I see a flyer about a official after party. It's like an answer to a question I never asked. I'll just pick up someone from there. My mind screams no to me but I ignore it. I'm so ready for some action, even if it would be some mindless bodily encounter. Even if I may not usually be into that, today I try to let my instincts take over. Not overthinking, not debating with myself. Just doing. Actions, not thoughts. 

Dean and Seamus is most definitely going, and so am I. Now that I have my back up plan sorted up I drift off to my thoughts again and just wander around the park. 

After awhile I stumble over a cable on the ground and nearly fall. Clumsy much! Luckily no one notices so it doesn't even matter. I trace the cable with my eyes and see it comes from a truck parked a bit up ahead. I hear music from it and a crowd has gathered around it. I suddenly feel an overwhelming urge to go and look at it. I feel a bit confused over the sudden need to get to the truck but shrug and walk over there. 

I get to the back of the crowd and don't need to look twice to know whats going on. Its a striptease. A dark bloke looking a bit like Blaise Zabini dances to some 90's inspired dance music. The song is kind of catchy and the guy definitely has his moves under control. The way he shakes his hips makes him seem boneless, like a serpent. All the moving around he does on stage is flowy and smooth, like he moves in water. Now he is shirtless but still wearing some kind of loose fitting sweatpants but after a few moves and a few moments later the pants are no where to be seen. The neon green thong is a nice color against his skin and after a few very acrobatic moves including a few back flips he strikes a pose that clearly is the ending stance. 

The crowd goes wild and applause's and whistles. I join the crowd and applaud too. Some roadie guys roll in a small stage with a pole in the middle and I am intrigued. Pole dancing looks amazing no matter who is twirling around it. Especially if they have real talent and not just big boobs or a great ass. 

The guys who brought the pole on the stage disappears behind some prop walls and a softer more melancholic song starts to play. It sounds nothing like the previous song, this is more like a sonnet or symphony. I have never been to a ballet but I immediately think of the swan lake when I hear the music. 

A long slender man enters the stage. He is clearly the ballet type with endless arms and legs but there is something so mesmerizing about him that I can't take away my eyes. He strides with long grace steps to the pole and practically flies up it. He is dressed in something white and flowy, resembling a dress and is quite heavily made up. And its weird because even if he is dressed up quite femininely he is the most masculine man I have seen all day. 

He surely twirls around the pole, up and down, feet up, holding the pole only with his hands. The performance is much more like ballet than stripping, and seems so familiar in a strange way I i feel like i have seen this before but where? Where could i have seen anything like this without actually remebering it? 

There is no way, how the man performs is surely something I could never forget, even if i tried. And just as I thought that this has nothing to do with stripping the music speeds up a bit and gets more nightclub vibes. 

He climbs to the top of the pole and takes his skirt, or whatever clothing it is, in his hand an in one weird, dangerously looking twirl he ends up lying by the pole in white micro shorts. The piece of white flowy fabric swayed across the stage while the man twirled down the pole and is lying at the side of the stage. 

The crowd gasps loudly and as the initial shock wave falters we all whistle and scream and holler. And applause- the move was amazing!

I like the hint of classiness with the absence of thongs and when he climbs back up the pole and does a way more striptease kind of routine I understand that he needs to have some fabric between his buttocks, otherwise that last slide would have given him a nasty burn. 

The music slows down a bit again and he climbs the pole once again softly and elegantly this time and after a few moves and rounds he places his feet around the pole and lets go falling backwards at the crowd. 

It looks wild but of course doesn't fall down with his feet around the pole. He hangs upside down, spreads his arms and takes the final pose. The music dies away and the crowd applause and whistle even louder than to the other guy. 

I applause like crazy and I am just about to whistle when he open his eyes and look right at me. 

I nearly choke at my attempted whistle and everything around me freezes. 

I can't believe it. 

I Blink quickly. 

The eyeys are still piercing into mine. It can't be. 

Oh my, it totally is. 

The gorgeous pole dancer is no other than Draco fucking Malfoy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Woop Woop,   
> I'm gonna make it! (maybe)  
> Sorry for the never ending boring start,   
> it's about to get interesting, I promise!  
> All messing up is on me,  
> thanks for reading :)  
> Cheers mate!


	6. Flash dancing in a flash back

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harry experiences a intensive flash back

It's past midnight but I just can't sleep. 

I toss and turn in my bed but no position feels good and I can't relax even if I try the hardest I can. I force my toes to relax, then my feet.   
Then my legs and my knees. By the time I get to my butt I have already shifted once again. 

I bury my face in the pillow and hope I can smother myself to sleep but obviously even that doesn't work, believe me, I have tried. My head gets dizzy and starts racing and just when I'm about to pass out I see the piercing ice cold grey eyes flicker before my eyes and I lift my head to gasp for air. 

I have to focus very hard on whatever else to get the eyes of my mind. It works for like a millisecond. After the thousand run around the same circle I give up and throw the blankets off me. I feel the chill air against my bare skin and it feels good. 

I'm a furnace inside, burning so hot I almost scorch myself. I grab my cloak of invisibility and my Marauders map and sneak out of the dorms. I shouldn't but I simply have to before I burst out in flames like a fenix and burn to nothing but an old pile of ashes. 

It's not the first time out wandering the castle at night. Thanks to some help I never get caught. The cloak giving me invisibility and the map showing me who else is roaming the castle. I have befriended all the house ghosts, they're not likely to get me into trouble. But this night is different. 

I walk the empty halls of the castle and not a soul is crossing my maze like path. I wander mindlessly and sunken in deep thoughts that get interrupted soon enough. I hear noise. 

Wait? No, not noise, music? I round the corner and yes, I hear music. 

A sweet melancholic melody is silently rising trough the hall meeting me and lingering around me. I can feel my skin getting goose bumps all over and I can't help but feel extraordinary intrigued. I check the map and see nothing or no one near me. Still the music gets louder and faster by each step I take. I reach a door on the wall and I'm sure it was not there earlier today. I frown but then a light bulb lit up inside my mind. 

I have heard of a room of requirement appear where its needed. But why would I need a room with music? I think and and can't fight the urge to find out. I take a few cautious steps towards the door. It looks as old as the castle and i cross my finger it wont squeak like a door of that age surely would. I'm amazed when it swings open without a sound before I even get close to it. This sure is some weird magic I think and step inside the room. 

Its quite dark in there and before my eyes has gotten used to the dim lighting I see nothing but hundreds of candles floating in the air. The music keeps playing, constantly changing the beat and melody. I can't help but smile a bit, the music sounds like how I feel at the moment. All a mess swinging from one thought to the other.

I can already see a bit better and surprisingly the room seems empty. 

I notice some candles flickering in the corner of my eye and instinctively look in that direction. I gasp. And can't take my eyes off. 

Its him. It has to be. 

I recognize a pale skin and platinum blond hair. The slender body moves in a graceful manner. Slowly spinning. I see more now, and can see that his eyes are closed. Obviously he hasn't noticed me yet. I carefully back against the wall and try to slide in the shadows. Suddenly my knees feel weak and I sit down as carefully as I can. I look at him and he still seems to be in his own world. I shiver, my whole body is shivering and I don't know why. 

I keep staring at the blond figure and it looks as he has stopped moving. The music chimes a few slow notes and I suddenly realize I have been holding my breath. I take a few silent deep breathes and just as I'm about to breath in again the music suddenly burst out powerful and fast. The tempo is rising and the melody is getting more loaded with emotion, mostly anger and hate maybe? 

I gasp as I see he other boy furiously dancing to the music. He runs across the room, jumps and throws his legs apart in a perfect split, spins and hits the ground hard. I'm sure he is hurt but he just spins again, doing something similar to a forward roll and continuing to jump. He jumps around, spinning in the air, throwing his arms and legs to the sides as he go. He lands again spinning and I gasp as I'm sure he will fall this time. 

No. He doesn't even flinch and does a series of pirouettes on the ground spinning so fast my head gets dizzy just by watching him. He does a little routine with moves I think would be something similar to tap dancing, or maybe river dance and then the music mellows down a little again. 

I'm out of breath just watching him dance like that but all I can notice on his behalf is his chest rising more than usual. Not that I know how his chest rises normally, I just assume. (yeah right, keep kidding yourself) 

As the music change so does the dance. It slow and graceful and as far as I know totally full blown ballet. I keep thinking of swan lake, even if I have never seen an actual ballet. But he reminds me of an swan with his slow moves and long gestures. His hands looks like a swans neck when he reaches up and sways around. The slow dance gives me an opportunity to see how he bends his body in positions that looks like he'll break in half any second. I am amazed by the body control he has and how strong he must be, being able to hold his body so still in so difficult poses. 

"Oh my, what he could do beneath you" I think and immediately blush hard of the thoughts that keep flowing in my mind. How his back would arch of my touch, how his leg would wrap around my waist. His hand running trough my hair. The heat inside me is getting hotter and starts to rise from my crotch upwards. It burns my cheeks hotter than never before. I close my eyes and try to focus on something, anything else. I put my hands against the cold stone floor and the cool hard uneven surface gets me distracted enough to push all the emotions he has awaken somewhere deep. 

I bury them in the most inner corner of my mind and I would be lying if I denied it, in my heart. 

I breathe for a few minutes before opening my eyes again. The boy is still dancing and the mellow music is speeding up a notch again. The mesmerizing movements of the pale, gorgeous Malfoy Heir capture me totally and I cant help but stare. It is obvious he has taken lessons in dancing, no one can have such raw talent and sense of rhythm. No to mention those moves would be impossible to do without hard training and discipline. 

I never would have guessed this about him and can't help but wonder who else knows. I guess not many and a bit of my brain plots against him, this is perfect blackmail material. 

But I could never do that. Ruin this pure beauty I never knew he had in him. He looks happy, truly happy. I could't take that from him. 

I realize this is his safe haven. I realize his life probably isn't as easy as he lets on. I realize a lot regarding him but I am no where near ready to accept them or even acknowledge them. I push the thought along side the others in the most inner corner where they will be safely tucked away hopefully forever. 

I keep looking at him dance and have no idea how long I have sat on the floor until I see the light of dawn break trough the large windows. 

I realize I cant feel my legs and my butt is paralyzed. The coldness of the floor hits me and I shiver. The music downs away and soon the hall is silent. He stops dancing and I panic, realizing the invisibility cloak has fallen off me. I grab it and throw it over me the same time as he turns around to face me and by the looks of his face he didn't see me. 

He takes his robe, throws it on and makes his way towards the door. I hold my breath not to be noticed and he walks past me. He stops right besides me and I swear he looks right at me but I'm too scared to look up. Nothing happens and he leaves the room. I breathe, deep harsh breaths. I feel drained, like it was me dancing for a few hours. In a weird way it felt like I really was. 

I never understood the beauty in dancing until today, in this moment, I realize it's not just dancing, it's a way of expressing yourself. And I wish I could see more of that boy who just danced like nobody was watching. I wish he would dance like that for me. I wish we could dance like that. 

Suddenly I break down in tears. I cry and scream an helplessly weep. I know nothing of what I wish ever has a chance to be real. After my outburst when only a quiet sobbing id left shaking my body, I push all the thoughts aside once again. I pick myself up and stand up from the floor. 

My legs tingle when the blood rushes down to my feet and I shake them a bit to get the sensation to fade away. I correct the cloak on me and leave the room. I loom around after a few steps only to see an empty wall. No door, no sign of what was there. And I know that's how it must be. How it should be. 

I manage to fool myself in to thinking it all was just a bizarre dream, that's all. 

And after awhile the memory of that dream fades away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel like things is just about to start,  
> sorry for the boring beginning.  
> All messing up is on me,  
> Thanks for still reading!  
> Cheers mate


	7. Revelations, revelations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harry has some revelations of his own   
> and witness others revelations...

Until today that is. 

7 years later and it hits me like a tornado. Like the tornado the dancing Draco Malfoy was that night. Every emotion and feeling I have ever felt against or towards that boy wash over me, drowning me with the brutal force years of denial have given them. 

I feel like braking down but somehow I am aware of my surroundings. I cant have a huge meltdown here. I'll have to find a way to control this until I get home. God I wish that was soon. 

I realize I must have dozed off walking, or being dragged, down the memory lane for awhile, a hard bass starts pounding with a not so graceful rhythm. The modern and harsh beat break away the thoughts of a beautiful pale boy moving like a classic piece of art and I sigh. Both of relief and sadness. 

It was unbearable but just what I needed. My head feels so much clearer now. Like the summer air after a big storm. And for a long time I felt lost, now I actually know what I want. I feel like a veil has been lifted from before my eyes. This day sure has been a day of revelations. Both personal and public. I realize what I have to do to get forward in life. 

I snap out of my thoughts once again and look around. Its been at least a few minutes since Draco left the stage, the other man up on the stage is ripping of is his trousers right now. The crowd goes wild but I can't help noticing Draco got more of an reaction from the crowd. And I'm not even surprised by that. His performance was truly out worldly. I have never seen anything like it. How he moved, how he seemed to fly up and down and around that pole. How he seemed to be something without bones. A snake. I chuckle, of course a snake, a true Slytherin.

I hesitate for a bit, take a few deep breaths and sigh. Fuck it. I am gonna go and find Draco and talk to him.   
I go to the backstage of stage and ask a few workers there where I could find the blonde man who just performed but they don't know where he went. I thank them and sigh. Of course I let him slip right through my fingers. Right when i finally came to terms with so much thoughts and truths. I swear silently and head back in front of the truck. I look around and try to decide where he could have gone and where i should go. I spin around and take a few step to a direction, change my mind and turn to another direction. 

-Hey harry! There you are! I hear a voice calling me and spin around again. Its Dean,   
-Hey sorry for losing you, I tried to find you but it was impossible and then i found this truck with its performances and guess what!   
Dean looks at me confused and I know I am rambling but I just have to tell someone.  
-I saw Draco fucking Malfoy! He performed a ballet like dance, on the pole! The pole!!   
Dean looks at me still confused and then starts laughing a low rolling laugh deep from his stomach. I blush and feel my cheeks burning bright red and hot.  
-Yeah, I know. Dean finally says after drawing a few deep breaths and calming himself down.   
-He performs regularly at the nightclub we sometimes go to. 

My jaw drops to the ground.   
How the hell did i not know about it. And why haven't I seen Draco in the city? I was sure he left to another country like France or something. How could i have missed him all these years. Well I never really went out for a start. When I think about it I never did much out on the town so how the hell could I meet anybody? It's still a quite big city.

I mumble something clearly embarrassed and Dean just chuckles at me and pats my back. 

-Hey, its okay. He smiles and kisses my cheek softly.   
I always liked Dean, he is so calm and supporting. I feel so overwhelmed with his kindness and have to seriously fight back the tears. I look at him with wet eyes.  
-Thank you Dean. For everything today. It's... I stutter a bit and swallow.   
-It's the best day ever, for real.  
Dean smiles and hugs me long and warm.   
-Your'e welcome Harry. He says squeezing me a bit.   
-I'm just glad you asked to join and found your way to us. We are here for you.  
And that's it, I cant fight the tears. I sob quietly as a few drops leave a wet trace on my cheeks. Dean lets go of me and cups my cheeks. 

-Hey, its okay. We have all been there. I know how it feels. We love you Harry. He says and wipes my tears with his thumbs. I nod a little and smile.   
-Thank you. I love you guys too. We smile to each other and I just bask in the warmth and love that radiates from Deans eyes. He wipes my tears again and leans in and kisses me on the forehead. I close my eyes and let the love surround me. For the first time in a long time I feel at home. Loved and grateful. Hopeful that I will be happy. Actually sure that I will be happy. I feel so light and sunny for the longest of times. And it feels good. I want this feeling to last forever. 

Way too soon the feeling slowly starts to fade as I descend back to reality. Dean lets me go a bit and we hear someone shout our names. We turn simultaneously towards the sound and see Seamus jog to us. 

-Hey, there you are! He grabs Deans arm and squeezes it lovingly. They smile at each other and a small flick of envy bounces around inside me. I wish I'll find someone to love and loves me like that. Seamus looks at me and sees my a little red eyes.

-Hey are you okay? He asks and looks a bit worried. He grabs my shoulder and squeezes it reassuringly.   
-Yeah, I... Stutter again, swallow and continue.   
-Its all just so overwhelming. And I'm so grateful for you guys. 

Seamus looks at me and smiles the widest smile I have ever seen on him.   
-Sure thing mate! We are always here for you! he hugs me harder and hastier than Dean but it feels just as good. 

For a moment we just stand there in an small triangle and smile at each other and I feel the bond between us strengthen by the second. I feel so foolish for not reaching out earlier. I cant help but to think how much easier it all would have been with these two in my life before. I curse in my head for being such a coward for asking help and so blind for the opportunity's for love and belonging. Well better late than never, like Seamus said earlier. I have plenty to catch up on but at least I now have a lot to fill my spare time with. 

We head back to the Gay Darts club where the group is loudly debating on something that apparently happened between Scott and Isaac, but neither of them seem to admit that something ever happened. The bright red color on their faces do speak a whole other story. The others start cheering on them and it does not take long before we all chant "kiss kiss kiss" as Scott and Isaac blush even harder. Then Scott sighs and shouts "fine!!" grabs Isaac by his scarf and drags him into a kiss. The kiss is far from sweet and innocent and it is painfully clear that its the furthest from their first kiss it could possibly be. 

The cheering is overwhelming and so loud other turns to look. The kiss just goes on and on and its just on the border of being something you do not do in public. The cheers slowly quiet down a bit and Scott lets go of Isaac's scarf, puts his arms around him and slowly tames the kiss down to a soft and loving peck on the lips. Isaac blushes and looks down but Scott doesn't let go of him. He kisses Isaac again softly and sweetly this time and nods at him. 

-Its okay babe. Scott lets go of the hug, takes Isaac's hand in his and intertwine their finger. He lifts their hands up a bit to signal that this is it, they're publicly together now. The group cheers and whistles again and Scott puts his arm around Isaac. They both smile the widest smiles Harry has seen on anyone. 

-Finally! Seamus says and all the others nod furiously.   
-They have been pining after each other for years but both have been too shy to do anything about it. Dean explains to me as the others hug Scott and Isaac and give each other high fives.   
-So last week the group decided enough is enough, so we helped them a little. So they finally kissed that evening but still wasn't sure and somehow both thought it was a mistake and everything but we made them realize what was going on. And here's the outcome.   
Dean says looking at the new couple and smiles his heartwarming soft smile again. 

I'm baffled. How could they be so blind? Even I saw they were madly in love with each other. Its obviously not so easy, all that being together and, maybe taking the first step to let someone know you fancy them is a big one. I chuckle, I do know how hard it is to open up to someone like that. 

I smile as I too go over to congratulate the guys and wish them all the best. For all I know I will be spending more time with them in the future, since I'm definitely joining this gay darts club.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well. It's done.   
> Not well done but done.  
> All messing up is on me,   
> Thanks for reading!  
> Cheers mate!


	8. After parties after parties

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The successful first parade comes to an end   
> -but the evening is still young...

All the emotional ups and downs today surely have exhausted me. So after we eat a little and celebrate Scott's and Isaac's relationship I feel ready to go home and just fall in bed. And sleep for like a week. I yawn too visibly for it to be right by the etiquette but I don't care. I'm surrounded by friends. Maybe even family. I smile widely at the thought. I'm sure they don't mind. 

Like he could read my mind, which actually starts to be a little scary, Dean asks me if I'm tired just as I'm about to say it tout loud.   
-Well yeah... I think I should head home already...  
I say and hesitate a little when get dirty looks from all around the group. I panic and probably look like a deer in headlights, I chuckle nervously as the group start laughing.  
-Like hell you are going anywhere but to the after party!  
They shout in unison like they rehearsed that. I back up a few steps and try to figure out a escape plan but I know its too late for that. 

Apparently I'm not going home for many many hours. Well I have no choice so I don't even fight it. The park slowly starts to empty, apparently quite e few hours have passed just like that. We have just chatted and mingled and I know the blokes so much better now. 

We changed numbers with a few and already decided when to next meet up at their local pub and they insisted I come too. Once again I feel overwhelmed by all the love I'm receiving so unconditionally and fight back tears a bit. I become quite close with Scott and Isaac, like they somehow know I have quite a similar case at my hands. We talk a lot and they give me good tips of how to go forward with all this and how to deal with my newfound emotions in general. 

Apparently coming out in the first place was also hard for Scott with a strict business man as father. Who was quite distant too. And how he fell in love with Isaac in high school but was too shy and confused to do anything about it. They were good friends though and played soccer together and naturally they ended up in the same collage. And the road to getting together surely was long and rocky with the other seeking his identity and the other slutting around like collage students often do. And all the jealousy that came with that and all the fights they had until this moment. 

Now afterwards it all feel so stupid but it has really been a big deal for both of them. But they reassure me they wouldn't have it any other way. They are so confident that all this only made them stronger as a couple and nothing will come between them. They have both seen how life is without the other and with other people and neither ever want to experience that. Ever. They kiss so sweet and softly after sharing their story that I almost cry, again. Hopeless romantic, much? I feel so hopeful that i will have my fairy tale ending too. 

We slowly start making our way towards the club where one of the after parties will take place and as we stride along the buzzing streets we pick up some more food from a small truck that sells all kind of fried food. I eat some chips and fall into my little bubble for awhile. I'm not so tired anymore and when I realized the club we are going to is the same one Draco sometimes performs at, I just cant help but feel a small flicker of hope lightning up in me. A small burning heat starts to rise from my groin and I just hope I can find a better let out for it than my own hand. Hooking up tonight would not be a problem but I made it one myself. 

I made myself realize not anybody would cut it. Not anymore. I need more than a warm body to keep me satisfied. Warm bodies would be available all around me but I only want one. A slender pale blonde Malfoy heir. That dances like freaking mythological god. Think what all else that body, so flexible and strong, is capable of. Okay not a good thought, my already tight shorts feel instantly even tighter. I shove some chips in my mouth and try to think of anything that would definitely kill my buzz for now. 

Thank god someone interrupts my thoughts and brings me back to earth back to the busy street in London. We are outside the club and even if we are quite early there the line in is already long, rounding the corner to the next street. We shout and the club members say hi to some people in line but since this is a special event that speaks for equality and human values, we are good boys and take our place at the end of the queue. 

We talk some more about the club and the other group members who go here a lot tell me all kinds of stories about what has happened here, who they met, witch bartender they fucked and how many blowjobs they have given or received in the surprisingly clean club toilets. They also tell me with performers are the best and who gets most attention from the crowd. I surely am not surprised that Draco usually takes home the jackpot, his performance surely is out worldly and in a league of its own. He mixes the classical ballet with such brutal erotic elements that you don't know if you should be embarrassed or praising out loudly "bravo". 

I sincerely hope Draco will be there tonight. I just have to get to talk to him. To confess how I feel. And apparently always has felt. I hope he feels so too. And then I realize he might not. For all i know he might be married with children, a house and a dog. My stomach drops and suddenly I feel nauseous and like fainting. I breathe deeply and somehow manage to stay on my feet and not throw up. I feel dizzy and can hear the blood rushing in my veins. Its deafening and I cant hear anything else. I start to panic and hyperventilate and I'm sure I'm gonna black out any second. 

But then feel a hard squeeze at my shoulder. I manage to get myself together. I can see and hear again.  
-Hey are you okay? Dean asks me looking worriedly at me.  
-I... yeah I think so. I stutter and breathe deeply to calm myself. it works at least a bit.  
-What is it? Dean asks after massaging my back a bit with one hand. I swallow and ponder if I should tell. 

But I know i have to get it out of me and what better than to do it to Dean.  
\- I... I think I realized today that I'm in love...  
I breathe in and keep my breath a moment. Dean smiles at me encouraging.  
-Well that's great Harry! You have to go for it. You deserve to be happy. He adds after a few moments of me gathering myself again.

-Thanks.. its.. its just that... I think I'm in love... with... Malfoy. Draco.   
I stutter and look down. I feel shamed and libearted at the same time. How weird.  
-Well, the heart wants what the heart wants. Dean simply says. He smiles at me encouraging. I smile back. I'm lost for words. What can I say to that?  
-And to be honest. He adds almost whispering,   
-I'm not surprised at all. He winks at me. Winks. I cant help but wonder if it has been as obvious as it has with Scott and Isaac? 

Do all my friends from Hogwarts think the same? Did they notice it in school? And when did it become clear to them? All the questions keep bouncing around in my head and i fall back to my thoughts. They are interrupted when the bouncer announces it's our turn to get in. He wishes us a very happy and fun evening and we all cheer loudly.

The club is the most clubbest place you can imagine. All the walls seems to be reflective, the room or hall or whatever seems like its going on and on and on and at the same time it looks really small. The dance floor is huge and two leveled, the higher level is surely the stage. Yes, I notice three poles on the middle of the stage in a neat row. 

Oh, the poles brings back images of the amazing blond flying gracefully around the pole. He is all I see and hear, as I get lost in the memory from earlier today. I feel my stomach churn and a familiar heat rise at the bottom of my stomach. It burns a bit lower in my crotch and I rapidly stuff the thoughts away. Not yet. I cant think about it know. Not here surrounded by new potential friends. I manage to get my shit together but I sure know whats gonna happen when I get home to the safety of my own home. Goddamn the beast is gonna burst out. 

I swallow and try to refocus on my surroundings. I look away from the poles at the bar that is on the opposite side of the stage and it seems to be like a mile long. The shelves behind the bar is filled with all kind of bottles, mostly colorful, and they're organized in the color order of a rainbow giving the bar a really cool interior and vibe as the flashing lights hit the bottles. Well I never thought a club could look "gay" but this sure did just that. And it looked great. 

The guys just walked in and to the bar to order some drinks while I just stand here with my jaw dropped to the floor. I look around mesmerized by the place and as it slowly starts to sink in I notice the people in the bar. Merlin's beard. I have never, and I really mean never, seen as many butt cheeks in my life as I see now. They are everywhere. But hey, I'm sure not complaining. All the guys on the dance floor are very minimalistically dressed, like almost naked. 

And they are ripped. Suddenly I feel self conscious even if I know I'm in good shape and quite handsome. Well, its only gonna make finding someone to take home a little harder I think. And instantly take it back. There's only one guy I really want to take home. Malfoy. My heart sinks a bit and my head starts to spiral out of control again. Luckily Dean interrupts me, once again, and drags me to the bar to get me a drink. To get my head back into the bar. Into this moment. Boy do I need that now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yaass! Two post in a row!  
> I feel like this is just a mess but hey,  
> so am I, so what can I expect.   
> All messing up is on me,   
> Thanks a ton for reading!  
> Cheers mate!<3


	9. Dance the night away

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harry discovers the fun of clubbing.  
> And is in for a surprise...

The club is full, like totally packed and we drink our drinks that we got surprisingly fast despite the crowd. It might help that they have what seems like twenty bartenders working like crazy. 

The drinks are soon chugged and I hope they club doesn't want more, I can't keep up with this pace of drinking without getting totally hammered and I do not want that. I can't lose control, not here, not tonight. I will surely end up kissing someone and that would definitely be a very bad thing for me and the other. I know who I want to be with and all else would just be lying. God, wrong thought again. 

I punish myself in my mind as we somehow get herded on to the dance floor by the pulsating crowd of almost naked bodies. I feel a bit out of place and curse to have had my revelation of love interest tonight. I could so have gotten laid tonight, just look at all these asses around me. But no, my stupid ass decided it wanted someone I probably could never have. Probably mind you. A flicker of hope slowly starts to grow in my heart, after all I can pretty safely assume that Draco is gay too. At least there's that. I may actually have a shot with him. I really hope I do. 

I snap out of my thoughts when I'm accidentally shoved by some dude besides me. He apologizes and I smile and say it's nothing. He looks at me from head to toe and I shit you not, licks his lips. I blush and look around for someone to come save me. No one even looks my way. The dude comes closer and dances for me or with me, I'm not sure, and I try politely to take a step back every time he gets closer. Then I bump into to someone and he catches me. I yelp like a scared puppy but I notice he is quite drunk and probably doesn't understand my body language. He grabs me by the hips and tries to rock my body to some rhythm, just not the rhythm of the music playing. 

I'm so bad at interacting with people and even if I'm getting better at it I usually over analyze just about everything. And usually I just say bluntly what I mean but this guy doesn't seem to understand what I try to politely say for once. I start to panic a bit and weigh my options, but just as I almost push him too hard for his drunken state, Dean and Seamus appears on both sides of me.   
-Hey Harry, who are you dancing with? Seamus asks with a quite hard and scary voice.   
-I thought you were ours tonight. He adds and they both put their arm on my shoulders.   
The dude lets me go instantly and stutters something similar to sorry and stumbles a bit backwards and disappears.   
-Thank god you came! I exclaim and hug my saviors. We continue dancing and I make sure I'm close to the crowd so nothing like before can happen. I feel closing in my shell a bit again and try to not let the incident make me step backwards on the way of growing as a person. I feel like I have made so much progress and worked so hard to achieve it that I don't want this to ruin it.

We kind of get stuck on the dance floor. I'm fine with it, its better not to drink so much because control gets so much harder when drunk and I just can't lose it here. The music is loud and blares out of the speakers changing speed and style and everything quite fast. But it sound fairly good, the DJ is surely talented. Even if the music is all over the place he keeps it somehow together. Well not that I know squat about music, or clubbing, But I think it fits in here. The lights flash all over changing colors and directions and patterns and everything. Its a bit hard to see anything while the strobe lights flicker like crazy but I think I'm getting used to it. 

All the loud music and lights give the drunkenness a whole other level and constantly moving makes my head just a teeny bit dizzy, I would imagine that being high feels similar to this. And I can understand the fascination with going clubbing. It is quite fun. After a few hours of constantly dancing I'm exhausted and need to get some air. Dean and Seamus gave up a few moments ago, wanting something to drink and just to sit down. I'm a bit high on the adrenaline the club vibes give me so I out dance them easily. But I'm still no machine and soon need to rest a bit myself. I wave towards the door to one of the gay darts club lads, Scott to be specific, and make my way from the dance floor. 

I see people coming up and down a set of stair and my curiosity awakes so I make my way over to the stairs and make my way upwards. They lead up and out on a rooftop deck. Perfect for me! The deck is quite large and semi crowded but still much more scattered than the club itself. 

There is a lounge area that is made out of a few big couches formed as a sitting group in the middle on the rooftop. On the sides there's a few small tables scattered around to lean on and smoke or whatever. I look around and see a empty spot by the railing and walk over there. The air is still quite warm, only a gentle night breeze cools the air off a bit. I shiver slightly as the breeze circles me, my skin is damp from all the sweating on the dance floor. I lean on the railing and look over the city. 

The lights in the night gives it a whole different look than on the day and its somehow alien. Like out of this world. I feel a bit like out of this world. I can't make up my mind on if it looks smaller or bigger in the dark. I try to find my building and wonder where in the city my friends live. After staring into the empty black bluish sky for a moment I drift off in my thoughts that once again starts o dart around in all the different directions. What a emotional mess this day have been. I feel so foolish for letting this go on so long without even realizing it myself. And how little of an effort I have put in my life. 

I could have been happier way before. I could have had friends, a place to call home. Maybe I just wasn't ready, I comfort myself. I feel sad for the broken boy deep in me that still doubts everything and try to hush the voice that tells me I'll never be good enough for love. I will. I am. I try to pep talk myself to go and get someone home with me, when I once again get mad at myself for even thinking of it. I just want one person home with me. 

Could it be possible? 

Could it actually happen? 

I sure hope so. Like really, really hope so. It would apparently be a dream come true. How can I have been so ignorant to deny myself my biggest dreams? I feel like hitting myself, or jumping from the roof. Just when that thought actually starts to sound quite good I hear a small cough from besides me. I feel the warmth of another person and as I breath in deeply, sigh and ready myself to friendly turn the person down saying I'd like to be alone I feel them shift besides me. 

I turn towards the person and open my mouth... And look in to the most beautiful vibrant bluish grey eyes the world will ever have a pleasure to look upon and freeze. 

Its Malfoy. Who stands besides me. In flesh and blood. So near I can touch him. I feel him, his warmth that lingers around my body, his scent creeping up my nose. How heavenly he smells. How divine his vibrating presence feels. My body tingles of every feeling you could feel, mostly the good ones but some bad. Like a bit panic, fear and disbelief. But also bubbly hope, anticipation, happiness and... arousal? Yes, deep in the pit of my stomach a familiar heat rises. Purely instinctive to the way Mafloy smells and feels, like the most familiar thing in the world. Like you feel home when you visit the summer cottage of your childhood. Feel the sun on your skin, the scent of fresh wind and the sirens on the yard. Like every time I felt when I saw him dance at school. 

My jaw is somewhere on the floor and I let out a weird throaty gurgle and feel the world spin upside down as my vision blackens.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey y'all!  
> New chapter woopwoop!  
> This story took a little different   
> direction while writing it so it's  
> probably a bit messy. Hopefully   
> it all will make sense in the end.  
> Thanks again for reading!  
> Cheers mate!


	10. On the rooftop of the world

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So Harry finds himself on the rooftop with Draco.

-Hey? 

A small voice, a mere whisper grounds me back on the roof and the world is right again. I blink and stammer something similar to "hey" back. We stare at each other for what seems like an eternity, and beyond, and slowly, slowly I start to feel more normal again. I hear other sounds than the air in my lungs and the rushing of blood in my veins pushed around by my steady heartbeat. 

My heart still pounds loudly but steadies by each thump until its almost normal. When my lungs work almost normally again and my blood actually gets some of the oxygen all the way to my brain so I can actually think again, I realize what, and who, is happening. 

I want to reach out and touch Malfoy so I can be absolutely sure I'm not dreaming. But my arms wont move. Nothing moves. 

I concentrate but still nothing. I feel all my emotions crashing down on me, every single one I have pushed away, and the force of them is scrutinizing. I feel actual pain in my chest, a gut wrenching, tight and heavy pain. It squeezes the newfound air out of my lungs and I feel my vision blackening again. I sense a panic attack coming over me. I close my eyes and squeeze the cold metal railing. The sensation of cold hard steel in my hands help me ground myself and I somehow manage to fight back the panic. I have suffered from attacks since almost how long I can remember, but they have flared up a bit after the end of the war, and nowadays they come more seldom and I manage them quite well.

I feel a nudge at my arm and it is the final string that attatches me back to the reality, to this moment, to the rooftop, to Draco. 

-Hey. He says again. He scans my face for anything and everything and I feel my cheeks blush.  
-Long time no see.... Potter. He adds the last word almost whispering, my name drizzling from his lips like honey. 

I just stare at him in awe. Like when you meet your celebrity crush. I squeal and hope its not too audible. It probably is. Luckily enough I come to my almost full senses soon and maybe don't embarrass myself totally. 

I smile at Draco and suddenly my hands feels like they don't belong with my body, like they're something extra. What do I do with them? How are they usually? I get over my newfound clumsiness and manage to actually greet Malfoy. 

-Hey.. Draco. Yeah it has been awhile. 

Draco smiles warmly and suddenly all the years in between is washed away. 

Harry is looking at Malfoy's beautiful eyes in the cold stone hall at Hogwarts, one of the few times he just got lost in the blue grey eyes. One of the few times they didn't sneer at each other, didn't yell something stupid or witty, didn't rile each other up. Just stared. And in those moments they felt like they knew what they were to each other. Like they could read each others minds. Like they could feel what the other felt. And in those small fleeting moments it was the same. The same love, dared he say love? Yes Harry realizes it probably was love, even when all they were was harsh words and stinging looks. 

Nothing more than enemies. But he feels like they knew. And like they together decided it wouldn't, no couldn't be. It was wrong, impossible, unnatural. Forbidden. So they let it be. They isolated the feelings until the moments became rarer, shorter, until the moments they shared were all gone. Until they were reduced back to what they should be. Enemies, on the different sides of the war that was looming in the future. 

For the second time that evening Harry finds himself back on the rooftop, looking at smiling Malfoy. And the look they share seems to pulsate, to shiver with something familiar, something from the past. 

Long forgotten and accepted. 

Something they decided wasn't there. But maybe it still was. By every second the moment feels stranger, more vibrant, more trembling. More real. 

And the world has changed hasn't it? They have changed. Harry surely has, during all these years he has changed. And he is sure Draco has too. He knows it from the war and the trials after. Draco did play a big role for the light to win after all. Harry knew it. And harry would have acted more on that if he wouldn't have been so broken. He still is but now he is more pieced together than scattered. 

This weekend and the few weeks leading up to it has been the most groundbreaking time in his healing process. The acceptance he granted himself was the first real big step against being whole. He gave himself permission to feel good feelings after all guilt he had rooted in his heart. No one blamed him but himself and it was revealing to find that out. The wizarding world got past the war and healed its wounds leaving only faint scars behind. Harry seemed to be the only one holding himself back, not letting himself heal. 

But he did anyway. Life went on and he made a career, started to live out his future. And now in the middle of the night, on a rooftop overlooking the partly sleeping London he feels like he is in the last crossroad of his life. The one that mattered the most. He would do the right thing, for himself and his happiness. He had to.

-I... saw you dance. In the park. it... you were amazing. Harry smiles at Draco finding an inner peace at the familiarity of the blue eyes. He holds his gaze and feels like he is aware of everything. Like he is enlightened.   
-Yeah, I saw you too... there. Thanks. Draco says and hesitates, biting his lip. 

Harry knows he is holding something back. Something he only dares to hope even exists. Harry tries to find something to say. Something that doesn't sound too stupid. Or too fangirling for the matter. It proves to be harder that it should.

-So... this Dance thing? Harry blushes as he asks about it.   
-Well I have danced practically all my life. Draco says easily and without hesitation.   
-After the war, when everything I ever knew to life was shattered, dance was all I had. All that wasn't broken or impure.   
Harry nods listening intrigued. Flashes of a young, pale, broken boy dancing his heart out it the room of requirement at night dart before his eyes. Everything makes sense now. 

-So it was easy to fall back on that. I studied ballet in Russia for a few years but the strictness of the art never really suited me. So I came back here and by accident ended up at the night club. He chuckles and shakes his head a bit, like he remembered something funny about it. 

-I saw you. Harry suddenly says.   
-Yeah you told me. Draco replies a bit confused.  
-No... I mean... I saw you... at Hogwarts. One night. 

He doesn't tell Draco he went to see him dance e few times. He barely remembered it himself until now. His cheeks burns and he feels the blush creep downwards to his chest. Draco looks a bit shocked and something like fear flash in his eyes. Harry panics a bit and stutters "sorry, I'm so sorry"  
-It's... okay. Draco says and smiles softly. The warmness lingers slowly back to the conversation. 

-I kind of knew you were there actually. He adds a frown on his face. Harry looks surprised.  
-It was more of a feeling, a sensation of being watched. At first I was scared to be bullied about it but when nothing changed and no one seemed to know about it kind of guessed it would be you. 

Harry's jaw drops and he just stares at Draco. How easily he opens up to me, Harry thinks. Harry is lost for words and Draco looks at him with something new glistening in the icy bluish eyes.  
-I kind of wished it was you. He says so softly it leaves his lips as a whisper. 

Harry just stares at Draco in awe. He wanted me there. To share his deepest secret. 

Harry's heart skips e few beats and something warm blooms in him, a spark ignites and forms a small flame right in his chest. A familiar burn makes at home by his heart. Draco blushes and looks down and Harry feels something starting to slip from his grasp. Feels the moment run away from him. He has to act. He just has to take the step. Has to hope. To dare. And so he does.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Almost halfway there!  
> Thanks for your patience,   
> things are about to get down ;)  
> All messing up is on me,  
> Thanks for reading,   
> Cheers mate!


	11. Scream you heart out

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Is the rooftop a magical place?  
> Or where does the courage to  
> take action come from?  
> Harry doesn't care...   
> But where will the night take them?
> 
> Chapter name from the song   
> "Rooftops" by Lostprophets

Harry touches Draco's arm gently, more like nudges it. Draco look up the blush creeping down his throat, besides his Adams apple that bobs strongly while he swallows. The questions is so visible in Draco's eyes. Harry feels the burn behind his eyes, the overwhelming rush of feeling creeping up om him.

-Can I.... he swallows hard too. 

-Can I kiss you? He finally manages to ask looking in Draco's eyes, searching, embracing for the slap of denial in his face. The slap never comes. The air around them stills. Everything around them stills. For a second the world stops spinning. 

Until Draco breathes out and whispers "yes".

So harry leans in, smelling Draco, tasting the air between them. He should close his eyes but the blue sparkling eyes hold his gaze. He can't, he has to see. The distance between them crumbles away with the rate their walls start to crumble, or their strings are cut. 

Harry feels a huff of warm air on his lips, parts them a bit. It feels like he lunges towards Draco, like he just cant take it anymore, like he clashes into the warmth of him. He fears its too aggressive, too oncoming, too demanding. Too everything. But it isn't. It's soft and sweet and calm. Its like breathing. Like something they're born to do. To live for. And Harry knows it is. It has to be by the way his chest feels like bursting open and burning to a crisp at the same time. 

The kiss continues as Harry slowly lets himself be wrapped up in the heat of the moment. Allows himself to be embraced by this, by every sensation a simple kiss digs out of him. The sensations are many, all different ranging from melting away to stiffening up. Harry feels like in a whirlwind, like his soul leaves his body. If kissing is like this what would making love be like? A shock jolts up his spine and he gasps in the kiss. The softness and innocence, if there ever was any, disappears and lets a more vibrant heat take over. 

Harry has no power over this anymore, no power over his body and he can't do squat when he actually lunges towards Draco, actually presses himself against the other body. 

Draco can feel every inch of Harry when he plasters himself around Draco and is surprised by the unapologetic way Harry just crowds his space up. Not that he is complaining, the furthest from it actually. He is just plain surprised, after seeing Harry on the dance floor, looking like a deer in headlights, clearly like a fish out of water, not knowing what to do or when. All that hesitation and holding back is gone. Harry seems like different person all together, here on the rooftop with Draco...

Draco pulls back a bit, pushes Harry gently an inch away. Hopefully not so much Harry thinks he is rejecting him, he so, so isn't, he just has to be sure. Sure Harry isn't that drunk or anything, sure he really wants this. 

Harry whimpers at the newfound coolness between them and looks Draco in the eyes. They pant, both catching their breaths, unable to form coherent sentences, hell even just coherent words. The moment seems to linger in the air between them forever. 

Draco looks at Harry, frowns a bit and asks. Harry knows by the way Draco's eyes flicker down, at the space between them, darts back up, his brows rise a bit. A clear question, is this okay? Is this what Harry really, truly wants? If Draco is what Harry wants? Draco wishes from all his heart it is. He accepted himself and his desires a long time ago. He holds his breath as he gazes in Harry's deeply green a little foggy eyes and waits. Waits for the moment, the question to sink in. 

Harry reads Draco's eyes like it is his native tongue and is taken aback by how effortless all seems. All their interactions feels like nothing, like they have always been there, like it just is something that is. Their normal. 

The question is clear and Harry can't believe it, of course, of course, this is what he apparently always wanted. He nods, a subtle nod at first and when Draco's brows rise a bit higher, to be sure, to be 100 percent sure, Harry nods again more clearly, more strongly. No doubts, just love.

Draco leans in and captures Harry's lips in his own. Sweet and soft. Tasting and testing. Harry leans in and lets the kiss embrace him in its warmth. Harry acts on his newfound confidence, on the feeling of finally coming home and he wraps his arms around Draco's lean strong waist and pulls him in. He is surprised by how small his waist actually is, how almost skinny he is. But when he wraps his arms around him even tighter he feel how strong and muscular he actually is. The fragile looking, pale, lean boy, no, man, in his arms is nothing like fragile. 

Visions of the performance Draco gave on the pole flashes before his eyes and he can't help but to think how he would bend around him, how the flexibility of the blond could be used. The lava in him feels like spilling over, like he'll burst any second. 

Draco must feel it too, must sense by the way Harry gently bucks into him, where this is going. And Draco does. Slowing things down a bit, distracting Harry from the tightness in his gut Draco brings back the softness and sweetness to the kiss. He slowly licks over Harry's lower lip, asking to take and to give. Harry simmers down a bit and concentrates on Draco's tongue, opening his mouth and letting him enter. Draco's tongue is warm and even this muscle feels incredibly strong. It touches his palate softly and Harry opens his mouth a bit more. To really let Draco in. To give all he has to give. Harry lets his tongue follow Draco's lead, lets Draco set the pace. Harry is as furthest from thinking straight you can imagine.

They kiss and kiss and kiss a little more. 

Tasting and inhaling each other. The tone is soft and easy and just what they should do always and forever. Harry is taken back by the curve of Draco's body, by the way his muscles shift underneath his skin while he squirms in his hands. Harry thinks of a snake, again, with how smoothly Draco moves in his arms. Harry lets his hands roam a little, feeling Draco's back arch, running his hands down his spine, over his round butt and down the back of his thigh a bit. 

The muscles on his body are strangely soft but still compact and Harry can't help but admire the discipline the training must have required. He is just used to basic weightlifting with next to none stretching or toning. The contrast of them is so overwhelming, they seem like opposites on all fronts. Opposites but completing each other. Like yin and yang. Two sides of the same coin. 

Harry pulls Draco even closer, the other hand still lingering over his butt and thigh. Harry lifts Draco's leg a bit, tries to wrap the human snake around him, tries to pull Draco closer and closer, apparently all the way inside Harry. Draco lets Harry pull and pull and pull. The kiss deepens and the tongues seem to get even deeper in each other mouths. The pace is slowly shifting again, everything becoming faster, more demanding. 

A little voice in Harry suddenly makes him push Draco a bit away instead of pulling. He realizes they are still on the rooftop, still on a public place. The hotness in him bubbles at a alarming height and he knows he can't let it bubble over here. He pants hard, closes his eyes for a second and breathes in. 

-We... can't.. not here. He nudges Draco's chin and just inhales the other man.   
-Yeah... Draco answers, giving the ball back to Harry. Letting him decide what to do from here. Where to take this. Harry looks Draco in the eyes and see pleading. Or is it his own eyes that plead and he just sees the reflexion in Draco's eyes. 

Either way he digs up his courage and just fires away.

-So... your place or mine? He can feel his cheeks move, smiling to Draco.  
-Your choice. Draco smiles back a soft hazy look in his eyes. 

Harry smiles as he leans back in, pushes his lips on Draco's mouth, wraps his arms around him again and in a swoosh of air and light and smoke flickering around them, they apparate leaving the club and the rooftop behind.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We are getting there peeps!  
> I feel like the story is getting  
> a bit more interesting from here,  
> could be wrong though...  
> All messing up is on me,   
> tons of thanks for reading!  
> Cheers, mate!


	12. Home run

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They leave the rooftop behind  
> as they appear at Harry's place...  
> What happens next, well you  
> could call it a home run.

Harry thought of apparating straight to his bed but after a second thought he didn't want to seem too desperate. Or for the moment to ever be over. So they Landed in the living room surrounded by buzzing smoke. 

It felt weird kissing trough the whole apparating journey, when the moving trough space tugs you in all different directions anyway. But it was actually easier that way, the kiss grounding you to one point so the tugging felt weaker than usual. Still when they appeared in the living room of Harry's small flat they break apart from each other to catch their breaths. And for Harry to make his head stop spinning. 

After the intimacy of kissing the normal interaction between them feels awkward. Harry has no clue how to be, should he show Draco around in the tiny flat? Offer him a drink? Just shut up and kiss him again? He feels his own throat dry so hi asks if Draco would like a drink. 

-Just water is fine, thanks. 

Harry walks the few strides to the small cooking corner and pours two glasses of the lemony water he has in a jug in the fridge. Draco takes his opportunity to look around in the small living room with the cooking corner. Its neat with not much stuff. A couch, a large bookshelf with a TV. A small round table with a few stools around it. A big painting with something abstract and colorful on one wall. 

Harry takes his time with the drinks and the heated atmosphere of the room seems to slip between their fingers, the air between them cooling down. 

Draco clears his throat.  
-This is.. nice. Homely. He says sincere and smiling. Harry scoffs in the cooking corner.  
-Its... tiny. I know. He says blushing. Like he is embarrassed. 

He knows what kind of home Draco grew up in, the size of the Malfoy manor. How could a flat the size of his former bathroom ever be enough? Harry looks down and shakes his head, the insecurities creeping back in his mind too fast, too forcefully for him to block them.

-I mean it. Draco says looking at Harry from the few steps between them.  
-I reckon its just you living here. Why would you need anymore space? He adds. Smiling. Harry's insecurities whispers in his ears, "yeah you're just a waste of space, why would you need a flat bigger than a cupboard" And harry bites his tongue fighting tears. Not the direction he wanted the evening to go.

Draco can sense the shift in the air and sees the tightness in harry s throat. He quickly closes the distance between them, taking both glasses of water from Harry's hands and putting them down on the small round glass table. 

-Hey, I'm sorry. He says looking in the shimmering green eyes a bit teared up at the edges.  
-I mean it, its nice. Homely, just like you. Harry blinks, tears flowing over his eyelids. Draco kisses him slowly, assuring that its fine. 

Kisses him like he means it. A boy does he. Harry melts into Draco's arms, into the kiss and slowly manages to ground him back to this moment to this feeling. 

The kiss is so, soft so loving, that the insecurities in Harry's mind wash away. For now at least. Draco slowly breaks apart, looks harry int the eyes and pecks him on the lips. 

-You okay? He asks smiling warmly. Harry nods, sure his throat wont work if he tries to talk. Draco kisses him again and the heat is back. Overwhelming and burning in his chest in his crotch. 

With every move of Draco's tongue against his, with every move of his hands on his back, Harry's doubts about himself and the situation crumble. He is soon all aboard again and when Draco gently pushes him against the couch he doesn't fight back. Harry surrenders himself totally to Draco's touch, to the pleasure he is guiding him towards. Harry shiver with every touch. Draco slowly pushes him down on the couch.

Harry sit there dumbly looking at Draco while he takes off his shirt. He smiles at Harry a small grin at the corner of his mouth. He leans in and kisses Harry, and grabs the hem of his shirt. He tugs it and it takes Harry too long in his opinion to realize what Draco wants. He takes off his glasses and then practically rips off his shirt. Harry breathes deeply and Draco can see the dark haziness in his eyes. Draco straddles Harry's lap and Harry puts his arms around Draco and presses his lips back against his. The kiss is hungry and devouring, Harry has found his courage. And he isn't shy to act on it either. 

Kissing is great but soon it is not enough, not even close. 

Harry burns inside, his everything feels on fire and he cant help but to grind against Draco still straddling his lap. Draco squirms a bit and squeals when he can feel how hard Harry is. How hardly he bucks up against him. He brakes away from the kiss, to catch his breath. To look Harry in the eyes. To see the want burn in the deep green eyes. Foggy with lust. Draco looks at Harry questioning again, like he can't either believe they are here at this point. Harry nods, he cant wait anymore, he just has to feel Draco, to touch him, taste him, inhale him. 

No doubts. Draco can see it in Harry's eyes.

Draco smiles and plants a small and fast kiss on Harry's lips before nibbling his ear, kissing down his neck then licking his way back up to the ear. He kisses Harry's collarbone and when he moans to the kisses he presses on him, he sucks gently on sensitive skin. Harry bucks up. Draco continues down Harry's chest, teasing one nipple, licking the tight abs that tremble lightly with each kiss. Draco slide off Harry's lap and he whines to the sudden coolness. The absence of the others hot body against him. 

Draco tried to take it slow and be as teasing as he can but is aching himself so he decides to just go for it. 

-Can I blow you? He more like groans than asks.  
-Ye.... oh god yes. Harry more like moans than answers and bucks up hard. Harry gains some sort of awareness and looks at Draco smilingly. He runs his hand trough the incredible soft silken hair and gently ghosts his finger over his cheek.

-Yes... god I want you. He whispers and Draco smiles back, rises to kiss Harry on the mouth, sloppy and wet and meaningful. Harry bucks again and Draco gets back to kissing his hip. He gently manage to get Harry's incredible tight and hot denim shorts off him. And even if Draco had once spent an incredible amount of time fantasizing about a naked Potter before him he could never have prepared himself for the actual living, breathing Harry, a trembling and moaning mess before him. Begging him to give, to take, to whatever, just touch me. 

And boy do Draco do just that. He gives Harry all he could ever dream of and more. 

The way Draco takes his throbbing hard member in his mouth alone makes Harry fall apart. How his hot tongue licks at just the right places, how he sucks at just the right force, how he moves his head at just the right speed. Harry is loving everything Draco does to him, every way his mouth works over his hard cock. And with all the eye candy from before and the performance Draco gave, that Harry just cant get out of his head, it doesn't take Harry long to come totally undone. Its the most violent eruption he has experienced in a long time, maybe ever. And the twitching seems to never stop. Its all fireworks and sparks in Harry's head. Like every single one of his cells explode, all nerves feeling like lightning trough his body. He feels like he's passed out for a while but he can't tell. He can't really tell anything. Everything feels like jello or like hes floating in an abyss of flashing light and electric impulses. 

-Babe you okay? Draco's voice penetrates whatever shield Harry's fallen behind and he slowly descends back to his body, to the couch. He blinks a few times and regain focus of his sight. Draco's face is flush and hair a mess and he wipes his mouth with the back of his hand. He repeats the question smiling. Harry croaks and just nods when realizing he can't make an understandable sound. 

Draco leans in and straddles Harry again, brushes his hair and kisses him. Softly and gently, a total opposite of how he kissed him before. Harry melts into the kiss and can taste the saltiness of his own come in his mouth. The lust sparks in his gut and stir a bit in him. 

Harry's body finds its functionality faster than his mind can, and he grabs Draco by his hips. He lets his hands wander around his body and kisses him with newfound enthusiasm. Like he wasn't a wrung out wet towel two minutes ago. Draco yelps as Harry drags his hands across his back nails dragging across his pale skin. Harry takes a few minutes to just feel Draco before he feels confident enough to stand up. Draco yelps again when Harry grabs hiss ass and stands up. Draco is sure they're gonna crash right back on the couch but surprisingly enough Harry keeps them steady. 

He is surprised by how easily he lifted him up, and how strong he actually is. Harry has no troubles at all carrying Draco to the bedroom. He wishes he could say he put down Draco gently on the bed but he really can't. Not really letting him down easy but not quite slamming him onto the bed Draco awakened something in Harry. It feels like a ancient beast just clawing its way out of his skin. Like its on fire. 

Draco whimpers thudding against the unmade bed and Harry brakes his own spell.  
-Oh god... are.. are you okay? He hovers over Draco and gently brushes his cheeks. Harry is just about to panic when Draco nods.  
-I'm fine, babe.. I just.. what did I DO to you and can I do it again?

Harry looks at Draco confused but when he pulls him down to a kiss with such intensity Harry's head nearly explodes he is on the same page again. Harry cant help but almost cry, goddamn the pale man beneath him is full of surprises. The latest being he likes it rough. And boy do Harry got rough in his systems to get out. 

And so Harry shows Draco no mercy. He teases him like he did before. First slowly and then picking up the speed bringing him to the edge but right before he lets Draco come undone he slows down again. After agonizingly slowly getting two lubed up fingers in Draco's tight hot ass curling them just right Draco whimpers and trembles uncontrollably. 

-Please babe... just please fuck me. He finally sobs and Harry just has to let go of his sinister plan on torturing Draco to oblivion. 

-You want that, pretty boy? Harry growls not recognizing his own voice. The growl trembles deep in his throat, almost guttural, like the animal he feels to be.  
-Oh god yes... please. Draco whispers, voice dry and hitched. 

And that's all Harry needs to hear. He lubes his hard throbbing cock and lifts Draco to straddle his lap. He holds him up and gently lets him slide down in his arms, gently pushing him down on his hard member. And Harry feels like he is splitting Draco in half. He is so tight and hot around him that it takes all willpower he has not to come from the first thrust. 

-You okay babe? Harry keeps asking Draco even if he is nodding every time. Draco trembles in his arms and rock his hips gently, causing Harry to shiver as he feel Draco clenching around him. 

Oh god, oh god, oooh goood...! 

Harry keeps breathing deep and tries to focus on anything but what he is doing now, succeeding poorly. Draco moves a bit in his lap and Harry curses.

-Hey, it's fine, we'll just take another round. Draco says clearly finding his voice again, because it the most seductive low grumble of a voice harry has ever heard. And as Draco gently rocks his hips Harry just has to let it all go. He grab Draco's waist with one arm and uses the other as support leaning on a bit to get a good and steady position. Harry is already seeing stars but he fights it the best he can and fucks Draco bucking up hard.

Draco's head fall back and he moans and curses and after Harry speeding up a bit he leans his forehead against Harry's shoulder. Harry gets a few hard thrusts snapping back so fast Draco can barely catch his breath and he just has to bite down on Harry's shoulder. The small sting of pain from the bite is just enough to send the animalistic beast in Harry over his edge and he comes almost as hard as before, spurting thick strands of come somewhere deep in Draco. Draco feels Harry swell and pulsate in him and it feels so strangely amazing it tips him over the edge too. 

Draco comes allover Harry's and his stomachs, the way his dick is tucked between them. Draco is sure he had never came so powerfully without his dick being touched even once. He pants hard against Harry's shoulder and can taste the hint of copper on his skin, seeing he apparently bit a bit too hard. A small stream of blood mixes in Harry's sweat and falls down towards his pebble of a nipple. 

Harry hugs Draco hard and just focuses on the way he breaths, deeply, chest heaving in his tight hold. They sit like that what feels like a quarter of an hour and when both get their breathing back to something similar to normal. Harry swallows a few times and tries to speak only managing to croak. He swallows again and finds his voice somewhere deep in his throat. 

-Merlin, you are amazing.  
Draco just nods and whimpers.

-Yeah.. yeah you too. He breathes out after awhile, and its a mere whisper.

Draco lift his head to look Harry in the eyes. The deep green eyes being all foggy and filled with lust and something, deeper, more primal, and he leans in to kiss him. Harry answers the kiss lazy at first but when Draco lets his tongue slip in and explore a bit more Harry perk up and the kiss is soon hungry. 

Draco tries to move a bit getting some blood back to his legs but Harry keeps him steady. Draco shifts his hips a bit and harry shivers underneath him. Draco can feel him swell and grow in him. So to get back he moves a bit again. Harry groans and thrust a bit upwards. Draco clench and roll his hips as much as he has room to, and feels Harry being hard and huge again. Harry's eyes roll back in his head and he forgets how to breathe. He can feel some of his come trickle down beside his cock and down his balls. He shivers and as Draco rolls his hips again slowly Harry is full on battle mode again. He feels Draco swell between them too but hasn't got enough hands to do anything about it. He just moans loudly and bucks up hard. Draco tremble and clench around Harry's once again hard member. 

Everything is like a snowball effect, each move the other make gets a reaction from the other that makes him move and react. So they play this tugging back and forth until the pace is set again. Harry keeps saying Draco's name like its the only thing grounding him in the present, in the reality. And Draco answers every time.

-Draco.  
-Yeah, fuck me.  
-Draco...  
-More!  
-Draco!

And so they come undone again. Harry screaming Draco's name like its the only word he knows anymore. And it probably is. They just tremble together and breath deeply in and out at the same pace. Their hearts pound in their chest at the same racing speed, they can feel it against each others wet, glistening with sweat and Draco's come, chests. 

And its perfect, the way they're entwined in each other, breathing each other, feeling each other, loving each other. Like two beings becoming one.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hiya,  
> sorry for not posting for like foreverr...  
> Harringrove is once again distracting me  
> way more than I would like to admit.  
> I may have a problem...  
> Oh well!  
> Yeah so back to Drarry, why is it that you  
> can read the kinkiest shit without even blinking,  
> but as soon as you write "dick" you're red as a  
> beetroot and giggling like an anime school girl????  
> Well anyways, thanks again for bearing with me,  
> thanks for reading and I'll try to get this done asap.  
> Cheers mate!


	13. After math

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What happens after, when  
> the silent night falls...

They get a quick shower together and Harry can't stop staring at Draco. The pale slender figure, so muscular and still so soft.  
Harry feels like it can't even be possible to be like that. So heavenly but still so real.

They get under the warm stream of water and let it rinse off all filth they just smeared all over each other.

He takes in all he can of Draco, how his back arches, how the water droplets trace his abs. Even how the small white scars seems illuminated on the pale skin, reminding him of one of the most horrible days in his life. He lets himself gently trace the scars, making him push trough the pain they cause. He has to, has to dwell a bit in it before getting past it. He'll make it up to Draco. If he'll let him.

Amazed by Draco, Harry can't keep his hands away from him but after the wild few rounds of exhausting sex they just pushed trough, their bodies isn't exactly reacting the way he wanted. But it's sweet and soft and warm and cuddly.

The touches are ghosting over their skin, like either cant believe they really are there.

It is like a dream.

So they just gently wash each other up and get out of the steamy bathroom.

And then Harry and Draco are back in bed lying beside each other. After the most intimate moment in both boys' life the closeness still feels awkward. All the time and the orgasms between their last encounter has not cleared the air completely.

There is still so much unsaid and undone between them. But the day of revelations has dragged Harry trough such an emotional turmoil that he is just about ready to get on his knees for Draco. One knee, or both, as long as he gets to spend the rest of his life with him.

But even with how oblivious Harry has always been, he can still sense a bit of hesitation in Draco.

Harry tries to be gentle and not suffocate the other.  
He turns on his side to look at Draco.  
He gently strokes his cheek and runs his hand trough his hair.

-You are so gorgeous. He whispers.

Draco turns to look at Harry. He smiles but there is a hint of sadness in his eyes.

-I mean it. Harry whispers and leans in to kiss Draco.

He pours all his love and all his acceptance and wishes in the kiss and just hopes he can get trough to Draco.  
To make him believe this is what he really wishes.  
Wants.  
Draco.  
That he really wants to make Draco happy.

Harry looks at Draco and there's a flicker of something warmer in his eyes now. Like he might even believe Harry.

He kisses him again and let his hand gently wander on Draco's chest.  
Harry moves a little closer.  
Draco lets him.  
Harry takes Draco in his arms.  
Draco lets him.  
Harry hugs Draco tight and bury his face in his silken hair.

-I think I love you. he whispers in Draco's hair.  
And even if it muffles the whisper a bit Draco can hear it loud and clear. He swallows feeling the tears burn behind his eyes.

-You.. are you sure? He asks a little tremble on his voice.

Harry turns Draco's head gently and looks him in the beautiful blue eyes.  
Kisses him softly.

-Yes. Draco, I love you. He says and kisses him again. Draco seems to still not believe him a hundred percent. So harry start to talk. Or more like ramble but he just has to. He has so much to say, so much to prove. And he has no rush.

"I can't exactly pinpoint the moment I realized there was something more to it than just rivalry, trying to be better than you.  
Maybe it was there from the beginning. The weird feeling in my gut every time I saw you.  
The want to touch every time you were near. To hold you when you seemed sad.  
I was taught by my muggle relatives that feelings like that was wrong. Boys should not think about other boys like that.  
So I believed it. I stuffed all those thoughts about you somewhere deep. Too deep.  
And I mocked you, ignored you, riled you up. All the stupid things we did.  
I made you hate me because I was not allowed to like you.  
Then I grew older and realized how wrong I was taught, how wrong many things my relatives taught me to think about as normal truly was.  
But I thought it was too late. All I could see in your eyes was hurt and hate and anger.  
I let myself dream of you the few times I saw you dance.  
But then the war started to lift it's head and I got distracted. Fell back to the old habits.  
Then the war blew out over our world and everything went wrong.  
A small flicker of hope sparked when you didn't recognize me in the manor.  
I knew you did but you didn't show it. I saw it in your eyes that you did.  
And the hate was gone. There was only sorrow.  
And when you saved me at Hogwarts, throwing me the wand so I could kill off Voldemort, I dared to hope a bit more.  
But we weren't left alone after the war. The war didn't really end that day when Voldemort died.  
The aftermath was in a way much worse. They never let us heal properly.  
I thought I could reach out to you then, tell you then.  
But with the media hovering over everything that happened I couldn't put you through it.  
Especially when I wasn't sure what you thought about me. Or us. So I just tried to move on.  
The thing with Ginny was a joke really, two broken kids pretending to be something they were not...  
After that I dated another girl before understanding I liked boys more.  
And that it was okay for me to like boys. So i explored that a bit.  
Slept around, tried out what I really liked. Dated a nice guy.  
But he wasn't the one for me, even if we got along really well I didn't find the time for him.  
I didn't deserve him.  
And I never stopped thinking about you.  
I... I just... I never thought this was even remotely possible.  
And I was too scared to find out too scared it would all fall apart.  
You... You were all that kept me on the road back to life, to heal.  
And I couldn't lose you.  
So please, if you even slightly do not hate me, i'd like to show I'm serious.  
That I really love you.  
I cant lose you"

Harry drew a deep breath.  
There. He said it all. At least he thinks he said. It feels like he did, like a weight was lifted from his shoulders.  
He closes his eyes and just breathes in Draco's hair.

The silent keeps dragging out. Harry starts to panic, what if it was too much, too soon? Or not enough, too late?

-Draco please. He whispered.

Draco turned his head and looked Harry in the eyes.

-You promise you're not lying to me? He asked quietly. A single tear rolling down his cheek.

-Draco I promise. It is the truth. I love you.

Draco looks harry in the eyes and kisses him.

-I love you too. He whispers into Harry's lips.

They kiss some more and its soft and gentle and all they ever hoped it would be.  
Soon all the activities of the day, all the emotional ups and downs drained them of all energy and they fall asleep in each others arms.

May tomorrow bring what it brings, one thing remains sure.  
They really do love each other.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi,  
> A miracle may have happened,  
> I got the whole story outlined!  
> I'll try and post the remaining  
> chapters as soon as possible.  
> All messing up is on me as  
> usual.  
> Thanks for reading,  
> Cheers mate!


	14. Easy like Sunday morning

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The day after,   
> the parade,   
> the club,  
> Draco.   
> There's nothing like an easy,  
> cozy Sunday morning, right?

The sun is already high in the sky scorching what was left on the streets of London after the biggest Pride parade yet. The streets are empty and quiet. Only a few families are enjoying the Sunday sun in the park or the playground or the occasional cafe with outside seating. 

The city is silent, like drawing in deep breaths after the party. Like recovering of a hangover of its own. 

A few streets over in a small cozy flat a raven haired man is waking up. Its past noon and the curtains are loosely drawn which lets the sun shine into the bedroom tickling the man across his bared upper body. He turns a bit and sighs. The bed seems like a battlefield with all the bedding crumpled up, three pillows scattered on the floor and the duvet half on the floor and half over the sleeping man. He turns around again and reaches out besides him with his arm. Searches for something he doesn't find.

Harry pats the bed besides him. And is wide awake. And alone in the bed. He looks at the ceiling and maybe its the roller coaster of emotion he rode yesterday or the fact that he thought he was finally gonna be truly happy that makes his eyes burn behind their lids. But he is alone, in his bed, left behind. 

He can feel the tears pool below his eyes and he squeezes them shut harder.   
"Left behind. Alone".   
He can feel his chest grow tighter with every shallow breath he takes until it feels like he can't breath at all. His mind races trough the same words over and over again.   
"Alone, left behind, unworthy".   
He tries to calm down, to breathe even deeper but its not happening, his body fights back.   
"Alone".   
He starts to tremble and shake.  
"Left behind".   
He thought these panic attacks where in his past.   
"Unworthy".   
The times he wakes up unable to breathe or screams himself awake have been a thing in the past for awhile.   
"Alone".   
Apparently they are back. 

 

Draco is humming for himself in the kitchen. He left Harry sleeping, he seemed so blacked out he hadn't had the heart to wake him. He knew how rough yesterday was for Harry, struggling with all the emotions and everything. And meeting him. Harry had talked quite much and quite openly about it yesterday. How weird it was and how he only now let himself feel the feelings towards Draco he actually felt. 

After so many years of pushing them away the revelations were exhausting. He knows. And after he blacked out Draco couldn't quite sleep. Couldn't quite relax. He laid there, Harry cuddling him and nuzzling his neck. He stared at the ceiling and his mind raced. Could this be? He can't quite believe it. But he knows he has to see this trough. Almost all his life has been about Harry, if he chickens out now he will never forgive himself. So e has to just bite trough it, may the outcome be whatever. 

He rumbles around in the cupboards a bit trying to be as quiet as possible. He finds coffee and puts the coffee maker on. He finds two mugs and takes them out. He is a bit taken back of how little anything Harry actually has. Even the small flat looks spacious without much furniture and things in general. While the coffee maker brews their morning coffee Draco looks around a bit. He uses the bathroom and eyes the small bookshelf in his bedroom. Harry is still sleeping, snoring slightly. Draco gets back to the kitchen and pours the coffee in the mugs on the counter. He hears Harry making sounds of waking up in the bedroom and picks up the cups and slowly walks towards the bedroom. Of course he filled the cups to the brim. 

 

Harry sits up and squeezes his eyes shut. He grabs whatever bedding he can catch in his fists and tries to ground him to them. To the warmness seeping out of the fabric. To the softness of the mattress under his fists. He forces air in his lungs. Deep, all the way into his chest. And he holds it in. 

His body fights it, it wants to hyperventilate but Harry knows better and doesn't let it.   
"Alone, left behind, unworthy".   
He keeps his breath as long as he can and when he sees stars on the side of his vision he lets out the air slowly. He just breathes out until he feels like passing out and then draws his lungs full. A few of these helps him calm down a bit and chips away the worst peak of his attack. 

It was Hermione who read all about panic attacks and PTSD aftercare and taught Harry a few techniques to help him manage them. It worked and Harry knew he was too stubborn for his own good not seeking professional help. He really should have. But there was so much he should have. He got by somehow so he just gritted through them by himself. The techniques helped and he was feeling better again. He started to breathe more normally and fell back laying down on the bed. 

And groaned. "fuck my life" he whispered and sighed deeply.

Harry laid on the bed splayed out and just breathed in and out. He started to enjoy the sun creeping over his skin, leaving hot traces where it shone a fleeting path. A trail of a warm and fuzzy feeling. Something good.

Draco stood by the door with two cups of coffee and he was shocked by the panic attack Harry had fought against. He saw the end of it but was so surprised he didn't know what to do. And reasoned interrupting whatever Harry did, that seemed to help, was the wrong thing to do, so he just stood there watching him. Harry calmed down and laied back down on the bed and Draco gained function of his brains. 

He was baffled, was he the reason Harry had that attack? Draco did recognize what it was. Was he opening old wounds? Or was it something else, something new? 

Draco knew he would never be worthy of Harry. He was always gonna be lesser, anything really, than Harry. He would always just hurt him, like he did before, like he did now. After all he was just death eater scum given a second chance. Because he was young and rich and good looking. And rich. Draco knew he was turned into a pr-thing after the war and did not like it at all but didn't really have a choice. 

He had to be thankful for the chance to live a somewhat normal life even if it wasn't really on his own terms. 

Draco hadn't notice himself drifting off to his thoughts and were abruptly drawn back by the feeling of someone looking at him. Harry's shocked expression and wet burning hotness by his feet got him back to reality. He hadn't noticed the mugs in his hands turning a bit and pouring coffee all over the floor. And he didn't realize the tears running down his cheeks until Harry stood up and asked if everything was fine. 

Draco couldn't move, couldn't speak. He just stood there. Harry quickly took the few steps between the bed and the door and took the mugs away from Draco's hands and put them down on his bookshelf. He wrapped his arms tight around him. Squeezed. And just held him.

Harry held Draco for what felt like a lifetime. He tried to calm him down with breathing calmly, in and out. In and out. It seemed to help. 

He could feel the stiff platinum blond relax in his arms and start shaking a bit. Soon he calmed down and Draco tried to push Harry a bit further. Harry wouldn't let him at first but when Draco pressed him away firmly Harry let go and took a step back. Draco seemed a bit angry as he wiped his eyes with the back of his hands. 

-Hey, Draco whats wrong? Harry asked and tried his best not get his irritation trough his voice.   
Draco just shook his head.  
-Talk to me Draco! Harry demanded gently but firmly.   
Draco just looked at his flushed red patched feet where the coffee had burnt his pale skin.   
-I'm... he whispered. And swallowed.  
-I'm just gonna hurt you. Like before, like now. Draco gritted out and felt a tear run down his cheek again.  
Harry looked at him baffled. What was Draco talking about?

-Hey... babe... Harry reached out to take Draco's hand.   
Draco let him.  
-Your'e not hurting me, Draco. he said.   
Draco was silent but lifted his eyes from the floor. He didn't need to ask, Harry knew.  
-That? It was a panic attack, a mild one. I have been having them occasionally since the war.   
It was Draco's time to look a bit disheveled. Harry hesitated a bit but knew he had to be true to himself.  
-I thought you had left. He whispered and looked deep in Dracos blue watery eyes. 

Draco couldn't quite wrap his head around what Harry had said. Could he really react that strongly to thinking Draco wasn't there? To him leaving? Was it possible for him to really love Draco. Like really, really love him? With all his heart, I-want-to-marry-you-and-have-your-children-kind of love? Draco was getting more and more sure it was possible. Merlin did he want that.

Harry saw the surprise in Draco's eyes. He knew how he felt because he felt the same. He felt the same hurt, the same hope, the same feelings.   
Love.   
They both just had to find the courage to act on it. And it was so, so hard, even if they knew it was real, the other felt the same way. But still. Their past had broken them beyond what both thought was able to be repaired. 

Harry reached out for Draco's other hand and he let him take it. Harry dragged him close and he followed his guidance. Harry wrapped his arms around him again and Draco didn't resist. Harry leaned in and kissed him and Draco kissed back, melting into the feeling of their soft lips touching. 

-I do love you, okay? Harry whispered into Draco's mouth.   
-Okay. He whispered back. 

Draco let him melt into Harry for as long as he could without starting to cry again. He nuzzled into Harry's neck and breathed him in. He let himself have this moment, no one could say for sure of the future. He believed it was destined for an end but he could as well enjoy it as long as possible. 

After awhile he gently pushed Harry away and excused the mess he made spilling the coffee on the floor. Harry shook his head, whatever, and kissed him. Draco smiled into the kiss and shoved Harry softly away. He turned on his heels and went to the kitchen to get a dish towel to clean up the coffee from the floor. And the shelves Harry had set the wet mugs on. Harry took the chance to get to the bathroom, he just suddenly noticed how badly he needed to pee. 

Harry took his time hoping Draco was done cleaning up by the he came out of the bathroom. It was clear he didn't want Harry to help and Harry didn't want to hover over him, give him the feeling of being a housekeeper. A maid. Although Draco would be sexy in a maids outfit. Harry groaned. This newly awakened beast in him was so gonna get him in trouble. 

The morning started as awkward as the moments before them cuddling after sex. Like halfway, satisfied but still yearning for something. He looked at himself in the mirror, eyes a bit red and face flushed. He splashed some cold water across his face, drank some water and felt instantly better. He pep talked himself into getting out of the bathroom and getting on with the day. 

Getting on with making Draco believe he wanted be with him. Really, really wanted to be with him.

Easy like Sunday morning, right?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi,  
> All messing up is on me,  
> content wise or writing.  
> Sorry if the panic attack   
> is nothing like real life.  
> Thanks for reading,  
> as always!  
> Cheers mate!


	15. Hard like Sunday afternoon

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So the Sunday continues,  
> in a bit better way than   
> it started...

Draco was in the kitchen rinsing the dish cloth when Harry came out of the bathroom. Harry joined him in the kitchen and for awhile they just stood there, both unsure what to do. After the silence growing too loud Draco took a step forward and stammered a bit, dry mouthed as he was.

-I'm so... sorry for the mess. He blushed and look embarrassed. Harry was quickly closing in on him and stopped right before him. He could feel Draco's body radiating heat.   
-It's okay. He smiled at Draco and gently drew his thumb across his cheek, wiping a bit of tear streams away.   
-I'm sorry I freaked out about nothing... startling you like that. Harry said a deep red creeping up on his cheeks. It was a long time since anyone saw his panic attacks and it just had to be the love of his life he just manage to get back in touch with. Draco found some courage in that and smiled at Harry and for the first time this morning it was on Draco's initiative they kissed. 

Harry wrapped his arms around Draco and kissed back with all he had in him. Harry tried to be good about it but after all the weirdness of the morning feeling so far away he couldn't help but to grind into Draco. Stupid beast, making everything about sex.   
It wasn't all about sex.   
He whined surprised but Harry could feel he was sporting a semi-hard too. Some sleep had apparently got some of their functions back and Harry grinded harder against Draco. 

Draco broke their kiss and breathed deeply.   
Harry panicked, was it too soon? It was too soon.

-God I'm sorry! I just... He stammered and Draco cut him off with a new kiss before Harry could finish his rambling. Draco mumbled something like "its fine" into the kiss and pushed Harry against the bedroom. Harry did not complain at all and once again felt his inner beast really waking up. Draco sure has brought something anciently animalistic out in Harry. He grabbed Draco by his thighs and lifted him up in his lap not even breaking their kiss. Draco wrapped his arms around his neck and his legs around his waist and Harry carried him quickly into the bedroom and let him down on the bed gently this time as opposite for the night before. 

-I believe I owe you something. Harry growled deep from his stomach.   
Draco moaned as an answer. So Harry kissed his way downwards on the pale man beneath him and fought his beast wanting to devour Draco whole. He kissed and scratched his teeth against his skin, but even if he wanted to bite him so much he didn't. They had had too much hurting this morning already. Harry tried to keep it all gentle and loving. The rough he saved for another time.

It didn't take Harry long to get to the base of Draco's, this time, full on hard cock. And he just looked at it drooling, inhaling Draco and not quite believing where he once again found himself. He could get used to this though.   
Draco whined to every touch harry planted on him and moaned deep and guttural when Harry finally swallowed down on his hard length. It twitched with approval and Harry knew exactly how to handle it. To make Draco feel good. To make him moan like that, deep and animalistic again. And Harry made Draco feel good, amazing.   
Moved his tongue over his tip, along his length just the right way.   
Grabbed his hips with hands and pulled just the right way.   
Hummed his throath against his cock just the right way.   
And harry drew out moan after moan from Draco until he couldn't moan anymore. Until he came undone, hard against his throat, exploding in his mouth. Harry sucked him and licked him trough his orgasm and made sure there was nothing left to smear on the bed or Draco's beautiful skin. 

Draco laid there and let his body get trough the trembling, get trough the uncontrolled spasm his orgasm gave him. It took longer than usual he thought but soon found his voice, found his brains. His body relaxed from the twitching and all he managed to get out was "wow"

Harry laid lazily besides him and stroked his side trough it all. The gesture was intimate, weirdly so after everything else they had done. But all the cuddling after the act itself always was the most affectionate side of sex. Neither though have had so much of that before. Their encounters before was more carnal pleasure than emotional. But now they both needed this. All the feelings.

Draco soon realized that Harry hadn't even been touched yet. And here he just laid enjoying his blissful moment fade away.   
-Shit, do you want me to...? Draco asked a bit hesitant. Harry grinned at him.  
-No need. He chuckled. Draco looked surprised. Harry laughed.  
-You orgasming like that down my throat took care of it. Harry said grinning smugly. Like it was an amazing achievement to get off without being touched. And it kind of was. It made Draco realize how deep in this Harry was. Harry smiled brightly, happy, and leaned in to kiss Draco. It was the opposite of everything they just did, even if Draco could still taste his saltines lingering on Harry's tongue. They kissed lazily until Harry's stomach grumbled. 

Harry laughed.   
-I don't think I have any good food in my fridge. He said and blushed a bit.  
-Yeah. Draco smiled.  
-I noticed. Harry's blush crept a bit lower on his neck.  
-So... You wanna go grab something to eat? Harry asked cautiously. He wished this thing they now had was daylight proof. That it would continue outside this small apartment.   
-Sure. Draco said and leaned in to kiss Harry, the second time that day. 

They got out of bed and got some clothes on. Harry put on casual denim shorts and a t-shirt and Draco put on the same tight shorts and over sized thin knitted sweater he had on last night. Harry hadn't even noticed what Draco was wearing but it looked perfect on his slender figure, the loose knit exposing one shoulder as he posed for Harry and shrugged when Harry's jaw dropped to the floor. He strode over to Harry and put his arms around his neck, lifting one foot up and arching his back a bit. 

-Like what you see, Potter? he asked smugly pecking his lips. Harry only nodded before catching Draco's lips into a heated kiss.   
Harry's rumbling stomach got them to break apart and get out of the flat and get late breakfast. Like really late.

They walked down the street towards the park and Harry took Draco's hand without even thinking about it. Only when he felt a tug at the hand, Draco had stopped and looked at their hands, fingers laced together. He looked at Harry and his expression broke Harry's heart a bit. Draco looked at him with such agonizing surprise. Like he was genuinely shocked that someone held his hand in public. Harry reeled him in and hugged him firmly. 

-I wanna be with you, Draco. And let the world know we are together.   
He whispered scenting his silken hair. Draco nodded and for the third time hat morning kissed Harry.

They walked a bit and ended up by the river. They bought fish and chips from a small food truck that seemed just a smidge sketchy. But the food was actually great. They slowly walked and tried not to scarf down all the food. They still did, mostly because they were actually starving but also because the seagulls eyed their portions a bit too boldly. 

They continued walking and got coffee from a small kiosk in a street corner. They walked a bit more and sat down on a bench. Harry who always had been taught men to be macho put his arm around Draco who against all odds snuggled into Harry's side. Harry felt so happy about the little gesture he could explode and kissed Draco on his head, sniffing in his scent he had come to love during this short time. 

The food was eaten and the coffees drank and they both felt satisfied. Slowly they woke fully up to this lazy Sunday and as they sat in silence snuggling on the bench both thought about what had happened. 

How they met yesterday, how they got it together at the bar, how they made each other feel in the bed. How the morning was a mess of misunderstandings and old wounds teared open. How fragile it all felt. But how real at the same time. Their shared silence of thinking was soon interrupted by the shrill ringing of Harry's phone. He jumped at first, startled by the sound and then scoffed. Who the hell would call him on a Sunday?   
Then it hit him like a 16 wheeler. Hermione and Ron!   
They were at the hospital!   
How could he have forgotten?!   
He was just fucking around (um not just fucking around, mind you) while they were having their first baby!   
Harry felt like the worst friend ever.   
And he was supposed to be the godfather of Beanie. 

-Hey Ron! Whats up, is she here? Harry asked stammering trying to not be so exited and guilty at the same time.   
-Hey Harry, yeah.. yeah she came early this morning. Harry could hear Ron biting back tears. He was surely overwhelmed.   
-She... Harry, im a dad now! Ron exclaimed and Harry cheered for him.  
-You want me to come see you? Harry asked and realized where he was with who. His heart sunk a bit.  
-No no, they probably won't let you in just yet, we still have a lot to figure out and stuff. You can come tomorrow after work. Ron babbled.   
-Yeah okay, I was.. Harry fell silent.   
-What? Ron asked. Harry had to continue.  
-No nothing, I'm just out with.. someone. 

Harry felt Draco move besides him.   
-Thats great Harry. Ron seemed happy  
-You can tell me tomorrow. Harry squealed. Draco slid a bit away from Harry.   
-Yeah. Well see you tomorrow, congratulations and Kiss Hermione and Beanie from me. Bye. Harry said stiffly to the phone, Ron answered and said bye, obviously crying again. The call ended and harry put his phone away. 

Draco moved stiffly besides him and Harry cursed silently.   
-Draco I'm,... I'm sorry. They just had their first baby and Ron was already a mess and...   
It was all excuses he knew it. He looked at Draco pleadingly. He looked down and swallowed hard.

-It's okay. I knew it. Draco looked at Harry with sorrow in his blue eyes.   
-What, no, Draco, its not what you think. Harry grabbed his hand but he drew it away.  
-No, Harry its fine. This was nice and all but I don't belong in your life. I'm just death eater scum... And Draco let out a small sob.   
-I'm not worthy of you. He whispered with a broken voice but Harry heard it. 

-No, No! Draco no, that's not it. I don't care, I love you.   
Harry has to convince Draco, he just has. He cant let him leave not now, not anymore.  
-Stop it. He said firmly. Draco looked surprised at Harry. His tone was a bit harsh and he gritted his teeth.

-You are not what your parents are. Or what they made you. It doesn't matter that you are privileged like that. Its not where you came from, it's who you are. I love you Draco. I love who you are. Harry spoke with all he had. Draco looked at him baffled.   
-I fell in love with you. The boy who danced like a something out worldly when no one saw. Who despite being in mortal danger himself did what was right. Who despite his whole upbringing and pressure from the family name did exactly the opposite of what was expected of him. I can only imagine what all that meant for you and how hard it was. I fell in love with that person. And I'm willing to stand behind it no matter what. 

Harry paused to catch his breath.  
-If my friends cant see past your name then they aren't my true friends.   
Harry realized what he put at stake but stood by it. If they couldn't see Draco for who he was Harry wouldn't care. He would always choose Draco. It was right for him, it was what he wanted. 

Draco looked at Harry disbelieving. Harry just looked at him and nodded reassuringly. Draco swallowed and leaned in to kiss Harry for the fourth time that morning.   
-I would never make you choose between your friends and me. He whispered softly voice a bit strained.   
-But I will do everything I can so that they will approve of me. He kissed Harry again and Harry smiled from ear to ear into the kiss. 

And so they decided to be together. They made plans for Wednesday, both was a bit too busy for their liking. But they had all the time in the world. And maybe taking things a bit slower from here was a good thing. It had still been roughly 24 hours since they first laid eyes on each other. And roughly 12 before they talked about anything. So yeah, all was a bit new. 

They changed phone numbers and saying goodbye was surprisingly hard. But they manage after hugging and kissing for at least ten minutes.  
-Ill call you later. Harry said for the seventh time and kissed Draco.  
-Yeah, I'll answer it. Draco smiled into the kiss. 

And so they finally managed to go their separate ways. Harry looked after Draco and after half a block he turned around and winked at Harry looking at him go. Harry winked back and blew Draco a kiss. And so he rounded the corner and Harry sighed deeply. He was so in for it now. Head over heals in love with Draco. Suddenly all the small voices in his head were silent. It felt like this was what the voices had been telling Harry all along. 

Maybe he should listen to them every now and then?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi ya'll!  
> Sorry for the once again long  
> break, I'm finally on vacation!  
> So I'm gonna be productive  
> and post the rest of the fic today!  
> All messing up is on me, text vise   
> or content vise.  
> Thanks for reading!  
> Cheers mate!


	16. Meetings

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Different meetings,  
> Sunday evening shenanigans  
> and Monday family gatherings.

After he had watched Draco round the corner and disappear out of his sight Harry decided he need to buy something to eat. He had been neglecting his fridge enough. He could maybe cook up some pasta tonight? With some spicy tomato sauce? Sounded like a decent plan. Harry got some groceries and wasn't even home yet when his phone beeped. A message from Draco, who else?

"Missing you already."  
He tapped the screen to answer.   
"Same, same"  
"Promise you weren't a dream, that all that just happened"   
"I promise"

They texted back and fort awhile and Harry tidied up a bit. Washed the loo, did the dishes, vacuumed. Changed sheets because they sure was a huge mess. And almost stripped off the bed anyway. After a few hours he made the pasta he thought about. It was good, better than usual. Everything felt better than usual. Like Harry had woken from a deep slumber. He called Draco next.

They spoke awhile about this and that and when a silenced pause grew a bit too long Harry sighed. 

-Am I unreasonable to want you over again? Draco was silent for awhile.  
-I'll be there if you want me too, he almost whispered voice a bit thick. Harry felt his dick twitch.   
-Yes please.. god. Harry whispered back voice also thick. Now he knew why Draco sounded like he did. 

Luckily Draco was there in about twenty minutes. Harry let him in. Draco came in and for a few awkward moments they just stood there looking at each other but then Harry grabbed his face and drew him in for a kiss. The thought behind the kiss was way too obvious. But Draco didn't complain. He bucked into Harry and they both gasped finding the other hard. As fuck.

They kissed and Harry broke it breathing in deeply, he nodded somewhat against the bedroom.  
-You wanna..? He breathed unevenly.  
-Yeah.. Draco answered seemingly out of breath.  
They scrambled to the bedroom and fell onto the bed in unison.

They laid on their sides entwined in each other, legs and arms around them. They kissed softly and sweetly and teasingly. It was heated but gentle, more making love than having sex. Their tongues moved against each others, in each others mouths, against their palates. Their hands roamed each other bodies, pushing, pulling and caressing anything they got hold of. Harry squeezed Draco's soft thighs and round butt. 

And even if Harry had been the leader the few times they have had sex in the past day, this time Draco took the lead. With a new confidence he pushed Harry gently on his back and straddled him. He grinded his ass against Harry's crotch making his cock twitch enthusiastically. Draco moaned into the kiss and Harry bucked up a bit to keep the friction between them. 

Draco broke the kiss and grinned at Harry taking off his shirt. It was the same loose knit from before. Harry just stared amazed when Draco bent himself in a unnatural way to get rid of his pants. Dear Merlin's ass Harry was going to have a blast taking advantage of Draco's flexibility. He started almost drooling over the thought. Harry was taken back to this moment by Draco being butt naked on top of him while he was still dressed. 

His pants felt three sizes too small but he didn't have to suffer long. Draco showed off his acrobatic skills once again and Harry was naked too faster than he could say "pass me the lube".

But Draco was on it too already and Harry felt like he was constantly two steps behind. He didn't complain though when Draco leaned back down to kiss him while he fingered himself open for Harry. The kiss was still weirdly sweet and innocent considering what they were doing at the exact moment. It didn't lack heat, god heavens no, but it lacked the animalistic energy they had shown earlier. 

Then it had been more about the carnal pleasure and bodily satisfaction. Now it was more about emotion and intimacy. 

Harry gasped when Draco lowered himself on his hard throbbing cock his tight heat surrounding him completely, not letting their mouths brake apart. He let him down all the way, until Harry bottomed out, broke off the kiss and arched his back moaning loudly. Harry was a twitch away from coming undone right then. Somehow he managed to keep himself together. He looked at Draco's slender torso move a bit on top of him and run his hands down his chest and sides grabbing him by the bony hips, and bucked up a bit. A new long moan escaped Draco's lips as he let his head fall back, exposing his lean neck. 

Harry sat up and wrapped his arms around Draco, keeping him in place so he could buck up into Draco's tight, clenching heat. He kept the pace slow but the movements big and hard, bucking up as much as he could. And Draco seemed to love it the way he moaned and clawed at Harry's back. They kept rutting their bodies together, and not so fast you would imagine, but still faster than they would have liked they came together. Harry buried himself deep in Draco, cock twitching against his prostate while he clenched around Harry. Draco's dick was pinned between them the small trembling giving it some friction and he was milked in between their stomachs. 

They rode trough their orgasms together and again made a mess. Not so much on the bed as themselves but still. Harry kept saying Draco's name like a newfound curse word and Draco smiled into the open mouthed sloppy kiss he planted on Harry's mouth. 

 

After they showered and put the disheveled bed back in place they crept up under the covers and Harry took Draco in his embrace. They laid like that, spooning, cuddling, quietly for awhile. Draco broke the silence.

-I can't believe this is really happening. He said and shook his head a bit. Harry hummed in his ear.  
-Why is that babe? He asked voice a bit raspy from the sleep alost taking him away.  
-I... Draco hesitated. But Harry had laid himself bare before him, he had to find the courage to do the same.  
-I have dreamed of this since like fifth year. He kissed Harry's arm he rested his head on. Harry nodded.  
-And after all, the war and shit, I never thought I would even see you again. Harry yawned.  
-But here I am, in your arms, and it feels like heaven. I tried to get over you, to forget you, get you out of my system whatever, but no amount of hookups could ever satisfy the yearn for you. Harry twitched a little.

-Hookups? he said sleepily but teasing and smiled into Draco's neck.  
-Yeah, I'm sorry to say but I have been kind of slutting around. Draco flushed and regretted ever saying it out loud.   
-Yeah? Well remind me later to punish your slutty little ass. Harry mumbled and licked Draco's neck up to behind his ear.  
-Yeah, I'll do that on Wednesday. Draco said, chuckled and turned his head to kiss Harry. 

The kiss was short and lazy and Harry was almost asleep.   
-Goodnight babe. Draco whispered to the already quietly snoring Harry and fell asleep himself. 

 

Harry's day felt like the slowest Monday ever. The morning had been the best though, waking up besides Draco, or rather being waked by Draco. Kissing him. The only bad thing was that they had literally no time to take care of their morning woods. But they got dressed together and got out of Harry's place together. They grabbed some coffee together and Draco escorted Harry to work. Luckily it was walking distance and they talked lightly the whole walk. Draco kissed Harry goodbye by the office building and he strutted away swaying his ass way more than normally, Harry was sure about it.

They texted throughout Harry's lunch break and planned what they would do on Wednesday. It sounded more and more like they would enjoy a night in, somehow the tone of the texts got quite cheeky fast. When Draco actually reminded Harry that he ought to remember to "punish his slutty little ass" Harry was quite sure they would never get much further than his bed on Wednesday. No that he minded, not the slightest.

And so the end of his workday finally rolled in and he left work heading to the hospital to meet the new member of his extended family. His little goddaughter. He had texted Hermione asking if he should bring anything but she just answered shortly "just get your ass over". 

Harry reached the hospital and asked the receptionist for the way to his friends. He got the room number and direction and after wandering round a bit he found the right room. Baby Beanie was just enjoying some afternoon snack and Harry blushed by the sight of Hermione breastfeeding. Like he'd never seen tits before. Still it was a bit weird so he stammered something about waiting in the hall a bit. 

-Nonsense Harry, just get in here. Hermione exclaimed and Harry stepped inside the room. Ron came to hug him and it was the tightest longest hug they ever shared. Harry felt his eyes burn a bit already but manage to keep his cool. Ron on the other hand cried, and it looked like it was all he had been doing lately. And according to Hermione it was.

Baby Beanie finished her meal and Hermione got as decent as the hospital gowns allowed her and Harry and Ron sat down beside the bed on the chairs that had been dragged close to the bed. Harry just sat there looking amazed at the tiny person in Hermiones lap. He couldn't believe it was a little human. A little human Ron and Hermione cooked up together. 

Harry didn't really know what to say or what to ask so he just sat there. Luckily Hermione babbeled on about something he didn't really pay attention to. Ron asked if he wanted to hold her and Harry agreed a bit hesitantly. He was unsure he would know how to hold her right or something but then Ron just put her down in his arms, showing him how to bend his elbow and where to support Beanies head. 

And there she was. His little god daughter, breathing, making weird baby noises. And Harry couldn't hold back, he broke down in tears.   
-She so small. he managed to get out between the sobbing.  
-Yeah. Hermione said dremingly.  
-Ain't she perfect? Ron chimed in and hugged awkwardly both Harry and Hermione at the same time.   
And so the golden trio became a quartet.

The time flew by and they talked about everything. Hermione made Harry tell her all about the parade. And as soon as he mentioned meeting someone his phone rang. He ignored it and kept telling Hermione about it all.   
Then his phone beeped, he got a message.   
And another, and another.   
He kept talking about meeting with Seamus and Dean and about the Gay Darts Club and when his phone beeped a few times again, Hermione adressed the elephant in the room. 

-Your phone has been beeping awfully lot. She said a twinkle in her eyes.  
-Care to shed some light on that.   
Harry muttered something blushing.  
-You said something about meeting someone? Is it serious? Harry almost face palmed. Of course Hermione picked up on that fact he let slip on mistake.   
-Well yeah, I think so. Harry shrugged as to convince her it's no big deal. His red cheeks though let him away.  
-Harry Potter, you better tell me right away who it is! Do we know him?   
Harry knew it was no chance in hell he could get away without telling something. He pondered what to tell without revealing who it was.

-Well you sort of know him.   
-So it's a him! I told you Ron didn't I?! Hermione exclaimed.   
-Yes go on. How did you meet? She nodded enthusiastically.   
Harry groaned.  
-We met after the parade, at the park festival. He was... er... performing. Harry felt his cheeks redden even more but luckily neither asked any details about what kind of performance. It would be hilarious to see their faces when they found out Harry met him stripping. Round a pole. And that he was none other than Draco Malfoy. Harry swallowed down a chuckle. But this was not the time to reveal that. 

They looked at him like waiting on him to continue. Harry sighed.  
-I.. we didn't exactly talk about what we are yet. A little white lie can't hurt. 

-I'll tell you when we figure this thing out. I'll introduce him properly then. Harry said and nodded as to give the sentence more meaning.   
-Sure Harry, whenever you're ready. Hermione smiled lovingly at him. And like she once again knew what Harry left out.   
-So... Have you guys done.. it yet? Ron asked clearing his throat a bit.   
Harry knew Ron had had a bit of work coming to terms with Harry liking boys, but he was talking about sexual encounters fairly normally already. Harry still got the sense that Ron was more upset of the fact that it took Harry so long to tell about his sexual preferences than what they actually were. Like he kept a part of him hidden from Ron. He didn't men too, of course, he barely knew anything himself.

The bright red blush on Harrys face gave him away before he could say it out loud.  
-Well... yes. When neither looked at him judgingly he added with a smirk  
-A few times actually.   
-Well I'll be damned. Ron said while Hermione just squealed excitedly. 

-I'd make you tell me all about it if it wasn't so late. Hermione said and Harry realized it really was late. A small knock on the door and a nurse who told them that the visiting hours were ending in fifteen minutes got Harry on his feet. He hugged Ron and Kissed Hermione on the cheek. He kissed Beanie on the top of her head while she slept in Hermione arms. 

-Just be safe Harry. Hermione said with a cheeky smile. Harry nodded blushing.  
-And we hope you are happy, and can't wait to meet him. Ron nodded too.   
-Thanks 'Mione. Harry said waved and stepped out the door.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can do this!  
> All messing up is on me,  
> text vise or content vise.  
> Thanks for reading!  
> Cheers mate!


	17. Tuesday Tactics

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tuesday afternoon  
> was always drinks with   
> the Gay Darts Club.  
> Harry tagged along and  
> got quite the insight to  
> his life.

Tuesday evening came by soon enough and Harry was on his way to the club where the Gay Darts Club used to hang out. He had been texting a bit with Scott and Isaac and was exited to meet them. He texted Dean and Seamus too, to make sure he would be dressed properly and was something expected of him and when should he be there and he asked like a thousand questions. 

Dean and Seamus just said "to be there around six, come as you are. The guys loved you, quit being so self conscious"  
Harry chuckled nervously. If they only knew how self conscious he had been. Still are. 

The day had been crawling so slowly Harry was abut to go insane. The summer was always a bit slower at work too but this was getting ridiculous. Of course checking your watch every five minutes did not exactly help the time go by fast. Luckily though the quite a few texts he got from Draco distracted him from staring at the watch. Every single one of the got the butterflies in his stomach to flutter like crazy.   
Was this how being in love felt like?   
How newly dating felt?   
Harry wasn't so sure he liked it, to be honest, all the anticipation made him feel a bit queasy. But it got bearable after texting a bit, after the first awkwardness was gone. After the first suggesting messages were read on the screen. 

They had almost made lunch plans but Draco had to cancel just before, he was called to an emergency meeting with a client. Harry felt a bit bummed and kind of like he wanted to punch a wall which was quite a new feeling. Harry was rarely physical and usually when he got mad or frustrated he didn't have the urge to hit something. The over analyzing part of his brain was of course throwing up red flags all over but the a bit more reasonable part figured he really had it for Draco. And he wasn't used to so strong feelings. At least not positive feelings like these. So he tried to ignore all the weird thoughts that kept popping up and just enjoy the ride. Easier said than done.

But here he was, walking towards the pub exited to meet the guys. His phone beeped and it was Draco.   
"Longest meeting ever. Sigh. But it went well, I'll get some more clients and classes starting next week. Have fun tonight, call me when you get home, kisses babe"  
The butterflies in Harry's stomach fluttered and for a moment was flying around like crazy.  
"That's amazing, gorgeous! Thanks, I will. And I will call. Love you, kisses" 

It was surprisingly hard to walk and text at the same time so Harry just kept it simple. Beep.  
"Love you too. ps. Im gonna go practice a new routine on the pole ;)"  
Harry choked on air and almost stumbled, his cock twitching in his jeans.   
Goddammit, concentrate!   
He thought and luckily got to the pub right before his jeans got uncomfortably tight. He open the door and panicked a bit, what if he didn't find them? His panic was cut off right away, as soon as he stepped inside the pub was filled cheering and hollering. 

Scott and Isaac were instantly on their feet and almost run over to hug him. They kissed Harry on the cheek and he felt a bit weird by the touchy greeting. He realized how little physical contact he usually shared with just about anyone besides Hermione, Molly, Ginny and Luna. But hey, he was open to change that. He had just found the joy and comfort of a simple hug and was happy to get to experience this part of friendships.   
The warmth and closeness.   
Without the sexual spark. That was something he was much more used too. 

The guys brought him to their table and he sat down between Dean and Isaac. Scott sat on the other side of Isaac and he had his arm around him. Isaac rested his hand on his thigh and they seemed to be touching all the time. Though he would be just the same if Draco was there. Harry chuckled to himself. 

And speking of the devil, Seamus opened his mouth.

-Where did you go on Saturday? He smiled a bit cheeky and Harry was sure he winked at him.  
-Um... I... I kind of met some one. He blushed and looked at his fiddling hands.   
-Yeah you told about seeing Draco. Dean chimed in. Harrys blush got a deep red shade and crept down his neck.  
-Erm... how did you?   
-You were quite obvious about the whole deal. Seamus laughed.   
-And I saw you go up on the rooftop. Dean said softly.  
-And then I saw Draco go up there too.   
Harry's eyes widened.  
-And when you didn't get back down it was kind of guessable what went down. Dean said and patted Harry's shoulder.  
Seamus winked at him again. The silence fell while Harry was thinking about what to say.

It was just on the werge of awkward when Harry groaned.  
-And would you mind?   
Dean and Seamus looked at him questioningly.  
-Mind what?  
-That we're kind of together now. Harry cursed.  
-We are together now. Like dating together. Harry kept eyeing them and Scott and Isaac seemed to be amused by the conversation. They probably had no idea why it would matter to anyone who Harry dated.

Dean and Seamus looked at each other. Harry felt his panic levels rise again. Oh my, they were probably thinking of a nice way to say to Harry get lost. Harry's head started spinning with all the thoughts but luckily Dean spoke softly grounding Harry back to reality.

-Harry, why on earth would we mind? If you are happy, we're happy.   
They smiled at Harry lovingly. Harry felt so stupid. He groaned. And buried his face in his hands.   
-We don't really care about what happened in school Harry. We were all young and stupid. Dean said softly.  
-Yeah, we all had a shitty start on life with the war and shit. Seamus added.   
Harry looked a bit surprised they talked about it so openly. 

-Exctly. We all had to grow up way too early. Face the real world too early. And we all have our burden to carry from it. We can't keep blaming people who did what they had to do to survive. Even we did things that are unacceptable. But we had too. We all had too. Dean said and Harry realized how much the war affected everyone.   
How every single one of them had made choices they might regret. That they all had to do bad things in order to survive. No matter on which side you were. Another huge revelation for Harry. A big step on the road to recovery. 

-So if you and Draco find happiness in each other we are more than pleased. Dean said squeezing Harry's hand gently.   
Harry realized tears were running down his cheeks. He just shook his head unable to say anything.

-Besides we kind of hoped you two would get your head out of your asses at Hogwarts already, the pining was painfully obvious. Seamus almost laughed out.   
Dean just nodded chuckling.  
Harry just looked at them wide eyed wiping his face.

-Harry come on! Seamus exclaimed.   
-You had to at least suspect Draco was gay for you!?   
Harry moved his head weirdly, not quite shaking it, not quite nodding.  
-Well... I might have had a feeling, i suppose maybe? Harry stammered.   
Dean laughed out loud.  
-God you were oblivious! He shook his head.  
-I can't believe you Harry! Seamus said almost howling with laugh.

-Well, I'm glad you find my stupidity that amusing. Harry said scoffing dryly.

-Didn't you ever listen to the rumors? Seamus asked disbelieving.   
Harry shook his head.   
-Well I really couldn't care less. Harry said and sounded more irritated than he was.   
He had been the subject of rumors all his life so he learned early to ignore all the whispering and murmuring around him.  
-So you never heard I made out with Draco? Like a few times? Seamus asked a weirdly surprised facial expression.   
Harry looked at him baffled.

-It really wasn't that big of a secret that Draco was into blokes. Seamus added amused.   
Harry's jaw were on the street outside the pub.  
-You're telling me you really did not know it? Seamus was serious now.   
-Oh god! He almost screamed. And then he groaned.  
-God if i knew you didn't know I would have told you. Get you together. He muttered rubbing his face. 

-Whatever Harry, it doesn't matter anymore right? What matters is the present. Dean said cheerily looking at Harry who swallowed back sobs.   
He felt so stupid.   
So blind.   
So, so oblivious.   
So fucked up that he couldn't even read something so obvious on another person.   
Well he just had to man up and face the fact that his life had been quite shitty at first.   
That he was emotionally challenged.   
That he was still learning.   
That he now had a chance at happiness. After all the pain he could be happy. 

-I... god I feel stupid. Harry just bit out.  
-Whatever, we were just like that! Scott said grinning widely.   
-You are so not the only idiot in this group, honey. Isaac added and smiled friendly.  
-You guys are the best. Harry chuckled. 

-So Seamus, care to shed some light on how exactly you found out about Draco? Harry asked intrigued by what gave Draco away.   
Was Seamus' gaydar just that good or?

-Well, it was maybe fifth year and I was a bit too drunk on fire whiskey and angry at myself for not getting my balls out to ask Dean out... and I don't even know how I ended up in the yard with Draco but we were there and the moon lit his hair so beautifully and everything and i was just so frustrated that I just kissed him. Of course I expected him to hex my balls off but he didn't. He kissed back. So we made out a bit until I threw up and we just went o our dorms. We ended up chatting a bit after that and tried the making out a few times but there never really was any spark. I had the feeling he was pining after some one else and I just tried to get Dean out of my head. So we stopped. I got the courage to ask this gorgeous bloke out and we started dating. And I never got a straight answer to who Draco's chosen one was, and Dean kind of got me distracted and all so that was about it. We still continued as something similar to friends, talking about this and that occasionally. After Hogwarts we have bumped int him every now and then, since we kind of hang in the same groups.   
Seamus rambled on and Harry just stared at him.   
Wow.   
He didn't even know Draco was on speaking terms with anyone else than his Slytherin gang. 

Wow, Harry's whole mental picture of Hogwarts and his time there were changing. It was weird to get some of all the things that happened explained so much later. Now a lot more things made sense. Puzzle pieces were falling into place. 

-Well, I'm happy I finally got to really know you and Draco. All this explains so much. Finally my life makes sense. Harry smiled to the guys in his table.   
They all let out a "aw" like when you see a cute puppy dog.   
-We love you too Harry. They said in one voice. 

Harry felt at place.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a few more chapters!  
> Again all messing up is on   
> me, text vise or content vise.  
> Thanks for reading!  
> Cheers mates!


	18. It shouldn't be this hard

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Telling his best friends  
> about his relationship  
> really shouldn't be this  
> hard. 
> 
> Trigger warning,  
> panic attack

The past two months in Harry's life had been the best he ever experienced. He and Draco turned out to be really good together. They talked out all that was unsaid between them, all the things that were done and all the ones that had hurt the most. Together they started to mend. To heal. 

They spend most of their spare time together and was close to moving in together. It was fast, Harry could easily admit that but it really felt like they had been together for ever. And in a weird, kind of fucked up way they had. Both had known early on that they really loved the other. It just took some time for them to accept that. 

Harry still had one teeny tiny problem. One that was totally his own fault. 

Hermione and Ron didn't know he and Draco dated. Or more like just on the verge of living together. God, Harry was almost ready to propose to Draco. And his best friends did not know about it. 

He had meant to tell them, he really had. But every time he visited them Beanie started to cry just the second he was gonna spill the beans. And then everything was interrupted and Beanie was hushed and when she settled down the moment was gone and Harry still hadn't told. 

It went on a few weeks. And then Harry had the perfect opportunity. He was on the town with Draco, doing some light shopping. And against all odds they ran into Hermione and Ron. They looked really surprised to see them together. And Harry made some lame excuses that they met on the pride Saturday (that was true) and they just started talking and was kind of.. friends now (okay he fucked up)  
They nodded disbelieving and Draco sneered like he always did at Hogwarts.  
Harry cursed himself to the deepest pit of hell.  
Goddammit just rip the band aid off. 

Draco was silent the rest of the shopping spree, and the walk to Harry's place. They were at each others places every other week. This was Harry's week. 

They got in the small flat and Harry knew he screwed up big time. He tried to apologize, he really did. But Draco needed space. Needed time. Harry started with the dinner and Draco took a shower. A really long shower. 

Eventually he came out a towel around his lean hips and dried his hair with a smaller one. Harry stood by the stove and was stirring a pot of soup. It smelled delicious. Draco told him that. And Harry flinched of surprise when Draco hugged him from behind. Kissed his neck and inhaled his hair. Draco sighed in the back of Harry's mess of black hair. 

-You are only making it harder for yourself, babe. He spoke softly.  
Harry cried, he had the most understanding boyfriend.  
-I.. I know. He stammered out breathlessly.

-It's okay babe. You know you have to do it at some point. Just get on with it. Whatever happens it's gonna be fine. We are gonna be fine. Draco kissed his neck again.  
-God I love so much. Harry sobbed out.  
-I do not deserve you, any of this really. He continued voice braking.

-Bullshit, babe. Draco said into his neck.  
-That's exactly whats keeping you back. You have to find a way to silence that doubting voice in your head. The one that keeps telling you you'll never be good enough for anything. You are, babe, you are worthy.  
Draco kissed his neck and slowly turned Harry around to face him.

Harry's cheeks were wet with tears. He was crying. Sobbing uncontrollably like a little child. Draco's heart broke a bit by the sight. He took Harry's face in his hands and kissed him gently, warmly, lovingly.

-I love you babe. So so much. He whispered against Harry's lips.  
The vibration of his voice tickled Him. He shivered and let out a little chuckle.  
-Thank you. I love you too. More than anything. Harry answered and smiled a bit. 

Draco hugged him tight feeling Harry relax into his embrace. Draco turned off the stove and they stood in the small kitchen just hugging and breathing each other for a long time. 

He talked to Hermione and Ron after that but still didn't get the words out of his mouth. He was sure they suspected something though. They wasn't as stupid as Harry. 

But they didn't push him. He was able to tell that indeed was dating someone at the moment and it was serious and all. They could see he was happy. But they didn't push him to tell. Even if Hermione tried to leave him hints throughout the weeks, asked how Draco was, that she really would like to meet the lucky guy. 

That she was happy for him no matter what. No matter who, she left unsaid. Harry knew it. But he chickened out every single time. Every single time the doubting voice was stronger than him. He wished he had Draco there. To hold his hand, to show him there was nothing to be afraid of. That he indeed was worthy. 

And so the week of the christening of Beanie rolled in. Harry still hadn't got his courage up to tell them about Draco.  
It was getting ridiculous, it really was. Like a bad Rom com ridiculous. But he just didn't have it in him. 

It was unbelievable. Harry had gotten the invite to the christening and it was addressed to him and his avec. God avec sounded so stupid. He was going to his goddaughters christening for Merlin's sake, with the love of his life. And he was just an avec to his best friends. A nameless person. Just someone on his side. Could be a hookup for all anyone knew. 

But Draco was the love of his life. Harry felt like shouting it off the rooftops. Tell the whole world. And he was about to say it out loud but only wheezed. No sound came out. Nothing. He tried and tried. Oh my fucking god! Harry was nearing his breaking point. 

And the evening before the christening he tipped over the edge. Draco was working late, Friday night as it was and Harry was chilling at Draco's place. It was Draco's week. His flat was much fancier than Harry's but surprisingly common. 

It was more spacious and had more of just about everything but it wasn't over the top. And it was kind of lacking person. Like you walked into it and couldn't tell by the looks of it what kind of person lived there. But to Harry it screamed Draco. With a mix of the old Draco, rich spoiled flashy Draco, and the new, more humble, hardworking and outgoing, easily approachable Draco. 

And suddenly Harry had this overwhelming sensation he did not belong.  
Not deserve.  
Not worthy. And he broke down crying in the middle of the living room. He had the most severe panic attack to that day. 

It was really a struggle to get himself to breathe, to get the air in his lungs.  
To get it out.  
To not shake.  
His teeth were rattling against each other and he was scared he'd bite off his tongue. He tried so hard to use the methods that usually worked. 

But no, not today. It got so bad he just sat on the floor shaking and gaping for air. He squeezed his eyes shut. So hard he saw stars. He balled up his hands into fists and pressed them close so hard his nails dug into the soft flesh of his palms. Until they drew blood. 

The stinging pain in his palm finally grounds him enough to focus on his breathing. He finally manages to get the air in his lungs. He holds it in as long as he can and blows out as long as he can. And repeats it. And again and again. And after struggling for 23 minutes he manage to get himself almost breathing normally, almost calm. 

It was the roughest panic attack he ever had, and it let him drained. He just laid on the floor and when he was calm enough the tears came. The sobbing broke the silence that had fell in the flat during his attack, the needle on the LP player had risen. It had stopped spinning. The record lied there abandoned. 

And so did harry. He laid on the floor and let the cry out. He sobbed and wailed, and when he had cried himself dry he just laid there. 

Alone, broken, not worthy.

And then the door opened and Draco came home. He found Harry on the floor, face flushed and eyes red shot. His hair was messier than usual. His cheeks were puffy. And his hands were bloody, some of it had trickled onto the floor. 

Draco knew without asking. He helped Harry up, first sitting, then slowly standing. He took him to the bathroom and placed him on the toilet seat. Harry sat there staring into the distance head lulled on the other side. Draco cleaned his hands and band aided them. He gave Harry some water to drink. The hugged him and stroke his back. Planted kisses on his cheeks. 

After Harry flinched and turned to look at Draco he kissed his swollen lips gently.

-Im sorry. Harry whispered.  
-Dont be babe. I got you. Draco answered and kissed him.  
-It will be okay. Well do it tomorrow. Together. He stroke Harry's cheek and kissed him softly. 

Draco helped Harry into bed and tucked him in. He kissed him and stroke him and hushed him. And kissed him again. Harry drifted off to sleep faster than ever. He was exhausted. Draco took a quick shower and climbed into bed besides Harry and gently took him in his embrace. Draco felt Harry relax in his arms and sighed. 

Tomorrow was gonna be a bitch.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> End is nearing,  
> Thanks for reading and  
> supporting (or suffering)  
> through this mess of a fic.  
> I'm sorry if the panic attack  
> is nothing like a real one.  
> All messing up is on me.  
> Cheers mate!


	19. Pre party panic

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The morning of the party  
> doesn't quite go as planned.  
> But you can't stop time now  
> can you?

-Babe?   
Harry groaned and turned a bit.  
-Babe.   
Harry dragged the covers tighter around him.  
-Babe, you have to wake up.  
Harry felt a kiss on his forehead. He sighed and turned a bit again, against the voice besides him. He threw the covers aside a bit, and opened his eyes. He groaned again.   
-5 more minutes..? He asked voice sleep drunk and thick.  
-No you have to wake uo now. The girls are soon here. The coffee is breweing.

Harry sniffed the air. He did indeed smell the coffee. He tried to sit up but grabbed his forehead and gritted his teeth breathing trough them.  
-My head is killing me. When the hell did I get run over a 18 wheeler!?   
Draco chuckled and shook his head. He gave Harry an aspirin and a large pint of water. 

-Get up, Ginny and Luna are soon here.   
Harry stared at Draco wide eyed.

He couldn't remember them setting up any breakfast or brunch or whatever-a-meal-was-called-at-this-time-of-the-day-date. And he was right, they hadn't. Until earlier the night before. 

Draco had texted them after putting Harry to bed that Harry needed them this morning. Luckily Ginny answered almost straight away. Of course they would be over. And Ginny had an idea what the problem was. 

Harry got Draco's bathrobe on when the doorbell ringed. Draco was quick to open the door. He greeted the girls and hugged them. Complimented on their clothes, they looked adorable in matching colors and a hint of baby pink in honor of Beanie. Harry just sat on the couch holding his head. The girls walked over and hugged him. The aspirin was starting to kick in and Harry's head felt better. 

-Thanks. He said a bit shaky.  
-No problem sweetie. Ginny said and rubbed his back.   
-It was a bad one right? She asked and Harry knew that she knew what had happened.   
She had seen him a few times and she knew how bad they could get. And Harry wouldn't let her help. 

One of the many reasons she ended up with Luna. But Harry wasn't angry or hurt anymore. He was happy.   
That they were happy. And he tried to be. Mostly he was. Harry nodded to Ginny and smiled to Luna. 

Draco fiddled a little with his shirt hem and when he saw the girls had it under control he went to the kitchen to pour them some coffee. He took out some cinnamon rolls from the freezer and threw them in the oven. He got the coffees to the coffee table. Ginny took a big sip from her mug straight away and Harry followed her lead. The hot liquid poured down his throat and warmed him from the inside, feeling like it brought him back to life. 

He sighed deeply into the mug.

-Babe I'm so sorry for scaring you like that. He said honestly and Draco nodded into his mug.  
-Its okay. I get it. Draco said softly.  
-But you have to get over this. You have to get over your head. Draco's voice was a bit too serious for Harry's liking.   
The or else bit wasn't said out loud but still left hanging in the air. 

-So... Luna voiced their thoughts.   
-Harry tell us. She smiled at Harry her a bit goofy and dreamy smile that Harry loved. 

Harry nodded and inhaled deeply, then looked both Ginny and Luna in the eyes. They smiled encouraging. 

-I'm with Draco. We are together. A couple. He closed his eyes and held his breath.   
Ginny and Luna looked at each other wide grins on their faces.  
-Fucking finally! Luna blurted and they all burst out laughing.   
They never thought Luna would swear like that. Harry was surprised.

-Finally? 

-Yeah, finally. Luna added.   
We have known Draco quite closely about a year now and after a bottle of sparkling he just would not shut up about you.   
Draco blushed and looked in his mug.  
-And you did not think to tell me about it? Harry looked hurt.  
-He made us promise not to. Ginny smiled warmly at Draco.   
-And of course we listened to his wish. She squeezed his arm.   
Draco smiled at her and mouthed thank you.

-So you are telling me all my friends have known Draco and I haven't even seen him on the town? Goddamn! Harry exclaimed first more amused than hurt.   
Because of course it was funny. How he was panicking about how all would approve of them.   
He realized that it was only his problem from the start. Like Dean and Seamus said, they all did bad things during the war. They were all just as much accountable. And A bit of Harry hated himself for being so slow to pick up on things. To be so prejudiced against his own friends. 

-I'm sorry Harry. I just wasn't ready to meet you. To give this a chance. I thought you hated me.   
Draco sounded so small, like the child he was when Harry first met him at the robes shop. How he ignored the boy because he was so in his own head. Well he had just learned he was a wizard so maybe that's understandable. 

-I met Dean and Seamus by accident at the club I occasionally work and they approached me. Just started to talk to me. Like we were old school friends, what we actually were. All else aside, we were class mates. So I got a bit closer to you. But you were with someone then. The girl. Then later the guy. Then I met Ginny and Luna during one of my classes. They came to the beginners ballet class. So after they started talking to me. And we just bonded. They kept coming to class. You should see them dance.   
Draco smiled at the girls who winked at him.

-Well we do have the best teacher. They said at the same time.   
Harry chuckled. 

-I'm sorry Harry. I wasn't ready to meet you when you were dating. I probably would have broken down. I knew you were dating and I thought I was okay with it. I really did. But after seeing you on the town with him, even just from a distance, it broke my heart. I cried the rest of the day. So there was no chance I could meet you. And I didn't want to mess with your life so I made Ginny and Luna to promise me not to talk to you about me. The hopeful boy in me did not want to be the reason for any relationship messes. Then I was told you were single again. But it still felt weird to just walk into your life. The universe was probably sick of my angsting about you so it made our paths cross. And the rest you know. Here we are.   
Draco looked at Harry.

-Why the hell didn't you tell me earlier? All this mess wouldn't have happened! Harry tried to not sound so irritated but failed miserably.   
The whole hing was far from amusing now.  
-Babe, please don't. Draco looked pleading.   
-I went trough hell and so did you. You needed time. I thought I gave it to you. It obviously wasn't the right way.   
Draco sighed. Harry sighed. 

The silence fell and they looked at each other. The room felt like it was under water. They all seemed to hold their breaths. If some one would have dropped a pin on the floor you would have heard the ping. Loud like a shout. 

Harry pondered what to do. This was a crossroad for him. He felt a bit betrayed, fooled but his close ones, his family. But then again he understood. He felt Draco's pain. It was the same as his. He had almost had an panic attack after seeing Draco and thinking he could have a family. And Harry might not be apart of it. So he couldn't be mad at him for not wanting to see Harry in a relationship. And Harry was actually thankful for it. Draco was right. It would have been a mess. And he would never want Draco to feel responsible for that. 

He was more mad at himself. Everything constantly reminded him of his past. All the mess ups he did when he was young, and stupid. He knew he just had to get past it. To let the past be just that, the past. 

So he made a decision. Maybe the first ever with his heart and not his brain. He didn't allow his brain to over analyze this. The small voice to interrupt. 

This could end badly. But it could be the best thing that ever happened to him. There was no way to know before he actually tried it out. Only time could tell how this was gonna work out. 

The only thing he really knew, with brain and heart, Draco was worth the risk. 

-Ah, whatever. The past is the past. All of it. Harry said and stood up to hug Draco.  
-I still love you babe. He kissed him.  
-Always will. 

He smiled at Draco who kissed him back eagerly.  
-I love you too. He whispered into the kiss.   
And the girls hollered and whistled.   
-Yeah! go for it boys! Ginny yelled and smiled at luna. They pecked their lips quickly and laughed.

-Yeah okay, that's enough boys. She said after a while when the kiss just seemed to be a never ending one.   
-Oh get a room! She exclaimed beside a giggling Luna.   
She sighed and rolled her eyes.  
-And I believe we have christening to get ready to go to. 

They all laughed and Harry disappeared in the shower smiling widely. Draco did not follow, they would never get going on time if he did. They went trough the gifts with the girls and talked about this and that while Harry got ready.

They were all ready and so they got to Hermione's and Ron's house. Ginny pushed the button to the doorbell. They heard screaming and commotion from inside. 

This is it Harry thought. But weirdly he didn't want to run. Not anymore. The past weeks had taught him a lot. 

And coming out, attending the pride parade felt like a promise to the world.   
He would be proud. 

Of who he was.   
Of who he was with. 

Of what he had achieved.   
And would achieve. 

He would be proud.   
Hold his head high.   
All the time, everyday.   
Every month is pride month. 

The door opened, this is it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi,  
> omg almost there!   
> All messing up is on me,   
> thanks a ton for reading!  
> Cheers mates!


	20. Blessings of new lives

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The ceremony is   
> beautiful, touching  
> and Harry finds more  
> blessings than this   
> small new life.

Ron opened the door. He was just trying to tie his tie. He waved them in and after failing the knot again he hugged Ginny then Luna and then Harry. And Draco.   
-Come in.   
They came. Hermione was in the kitchen trying to feed Beanie but she just turned her head away.   
-Fine! Eat later then. She said and rose to hug the guests. They were the first there. Hermione looked at them a bit surprised but a very much blushing Harry cut her off. 

-Yeah, you all know Draco.   
They all nodded.   
Draco took his hand and squeezed int reassuringly.   
Ginny and Luna smiled softly. 

\- We are together.  
An awkward silence fell.   
-'Mione I'm sorry, it was Draco all along, the one I have been seeing since the parade, I just didn't know how to tell and how you'd take it and then Beanie and all... Harry was Rambling.

-Oh shut up Harry. Welcome to the family Draco. She said and hugged Draco properly.   
-This is Beanie. She said and held her up to Draco.   
He swooped her in his arms and Harry was surprised when Beanie let out a shrill laugh. 

Draco was great with kids. And Beanie just seemed to adore him. Harry chuckled silently. Draco sure was so different from what he thought. So soft and warm and gentle. So human. All the hard, rich, privileged, asshole exterior were chiseled off. This was the Draco Harry saw a glimpse off in the room of requirement. 

When he danced like nobody was watching. When he was his true self. Th Draco Harry fell in love with.

Ron came over while Draco played with Beanie. Harry helped him tie his tie. Ron blushed a bit and was quieter than usual.

-Harry, I'm not gonna lie, Draco was a surprise. But after seeing you for the ten minutes you have been here I'm sure he is the one for you. I think i have never seen you so happy. Ron hugged Harry. It was awkward and warm and loving. Everything that Ron was. They broke off and Ron wiped his eyes.

-I'm sorry all this, the last few months, it's been so overwhelming. He was rambling.   
-Hey it's okay mate. Harry said softly squeezing his shoulder.   
-And thanks mate. For not freaking out.  
-Well Draco is quite gorgeous I have to give him that. You have great taste in men.   
Ron winked and playfully pushed his arm. Harry laughed a deep warm laugh.

They helped to get the last minute tidying done, all the snacks brought out and everything put in place. Beanie was in love with Draco so he got the important role of keeping her in a good mood. They got everything in order and the guest started pouring in. They were not that many but still enough to make the small, cozy house crowded. And loud. 

Everyone greeted Harry shaking his hand. He knew almost all of them, most being the Weasley's and Hermione's parents, but there was a few of Hermione's and Ron's workmates that he had met either a few times or never. 

They all greeted Beanie who was content in Draco's lap and Harry smiled at him from across the room. Draco introduced himself as Draco, friend of the parents. 

Molly and Arthur and George hugged him almost out of breath. George winked at him and nodded against Draco. The deep blush on Harry's cheeks gave him away. The Weasley's were not stupid.   
-So... you and Malfoy? George asked wiggling his eyebrows.   
-Oh shut up George! Harry rolled his eyes.   
And smiled from ear to ear. 

-Aw, Harry that's so sweet. I knew he was a good boy. You know I know his mom, strong woman. Molly rambled on like she used to. Arthur just smiled at him and patted his back. He went over to Beanie, he was really taking his role as a grandpa seriously. And he loved the little bundle. Molly went to help Hermione with something in the kitchen. Harry was left alone with George.   
This can't be good he thought when he saw Georges smirk.

-So... how long have you been riding the thunder? George asked grinning.  
He moved his hips a bit suggestively and Harry groaned loudly.   
-Could you not, there are... like other people here. Harry bitted out.   
-Well?  
-A few months. (2 months, 3 weeks, 6 days and a few hours give or take.)  
George whisteled. 

-Not to be disrespectful or anything but I think that's the longest hes been with the same bloke.   
Harry choked on air. George leaned in and whispered;  
-I heard he is amazing in bed. His breath hot against Harry's cheek.  
Harry gurgeled. And was red as beetroot.  
-I'm just messing with you! George said laughing and patted Harry's back hard. 

-But I can still imagine he is good, that gorgeous piece of ass. He whispered, winked and walked away to snatch Beanie from Draco.   
Harry groaned.

Harry shook his head and watched George and Draco joking around and smiling. It didn't look forced at all and Harry was grateful for everyone taking Draco in so easy. He smiled and went to the kitchen to help Hermione and Molly. 

-Harry, could you come over? Hermione asked and nodded a bit to the side. He followed.  
-We can talk about the fact that you didn't tell us about Draco later but now lets concentrate on Beanie.   
Hermione used her newfound mom voice on Harry. He nodded.  
-I'm so happy for you by the way.   
Harry nodded again.  
-So I talked quickly with Ron and we thought that since you are gonna be her godfather that if you want, and only if you want, Draco can be her godfather with you. If you want, if you feel you are serious. She looked Harry in the eye with a serious smile.

Harry almost broke down in tears. He was sure they wouldn't approve of him and Draco and now instead they were offered to be godfathers together.   
Together.   
As a couple.   
He was so so grateful, so happy to have the best of families to take care of him. 

He felt ashamed for under estimating His near and dear.   
-I'll talk to Draco. But thank you Hermione, I love you. Harry hugged her so hard she squeaked like a little doggy toy.

-Sure thing Harry. I love you too. Now get talking to your boo, we need to know in fifteen minutes. She said a bit out of breath from the hard hug.

Harry feels like floating when he moves over to the living room where Draco is pretending to throw Beanie in the air. She is shrieking with laugh and giggling uncontrollably. Harry is all smiles, he had no idea Draco was so good with kids. Maybe they could have some of their own too? Harry didn't really know anything about kids but Draco seemed to have at least a clue. He hadn't thought about kids as in something he could or would want. But with his life changing and him growing up it didn't feel too distant to think about having a family of their own.

-Hey Beanie, are you flying? Harry asked and took her little hand.   
She squeezed the fingers she could wrap her little hand around. She giggled, and Harry kissed her little hand.  
-Hay babe, can you take her for a second? Draco asked and held her up for Harry to take.   
-I'm burning up, she is so warm.   
Harry took her in his arms and she seemed to need to catch her breath too. Draco aired his shirt a bit and drew a hand trough his hair.   
-So... um... You know how i'm gonna be Beanies godfather right? Harry stammered looking at Beanie yawning.   
Draco nodded.  
-So, Hermione asked if you would like to be her godfather too? We together, she meant. If we are serious about this. Harry blushed.   
Draco blinked a bit and looked surprised.

-Well... he pondered.   
-If you want me to be her godfather with you I'll say yes. He then said and leaned in to kiss Harry. 

-And... he looked Harry in the eyes wit a serious face.   
-I am serious about us. I love you.   
Harry kissed him back and they tried to keep it chaste, this was still a semi public place. And Harry still held Beanie.   
-I love you too. He smiled into the kiss.   
-Lets go tell Hermione.   
He took Draco's hand in his and dragged him towards the kitchen.

All the guest had gathered in the living room and the christening was about to start. They stood by the fireplace, Ron and Hermione on one side and Harry and Draco on the other. Ginny and Luna were also godparents and stood beside Draco and Harry. They were holding hands and Luna sniffled already. Draco held Beanie who was yawning as big as she could. She had been changed into the Weasley family christening gown which looked just as worn as it was. But it was still beautiful. 

The ceremony was brief and traditional to witches and wizards. After Beanie had been given her real name all the godparents joined their wands to cast a protection charm as a promise to keep her safe and help to guide her trough life growing up. To stand by her parents side supporting them raising her. Harry felt overwhelmed as the charm tingles in his veins. He is sure they all can feel it. And Beanie squirms a bit in Draco's arms, surely tingling too. 

All around the room silent sobs and sighs mingle in the ceremonial music playing in the background. The ceremony is beautiful and when its over all guests lift their wands and light them up with a small spark on the tip as a tribute for the new member of their family. And so they all hug the parents, shake hands with the godparents and babble to Beanie. She giggles and yawns in turns and then Hermione puts her down for a nap. 

The stiff part of the party is over and so they all start to mingle and eat. Hermione and Molly had made a small buffet of all kinds of easy finger foods and the house is soon filled with happy chatting and laughter. 

Draco and Harry stand beside each other and they talk a bit with all the guests. Mostly with them they know from school and they talk about this and that. Harry is the more shy of them and he is surprised by how outgoing Draco really is. they talk about this and that and Draco is a natural born entertainer. He definitely steals the show from Beanie, at least while she is napping. 

Later the party is slowly reduced to the younger family members. After saying goodbye to the Weasley's and Harry and Draco both hugged Molly at least a dozen times and promised they come over for dinner next month, George hugged both and winked at Harry unnaturally many times making it frustratingly ridiculous at the end, and the other guest leaving giving their best wishes only Hermione, Ron, Ginny, Luna, Draco and Harry are left. 

Harry is surprised by how natural the conversation flows, how good Draco matches with his friends.   
Their friends. Harry is taken back by the thought of theirs.   
Their friends, their life.   
Together.   
It's more he could ever wish for. More he, feels worthy of. But he is. He is worthy of a family this close, of friends, of love.   
He is.   
He just has to repeat it until he believes it.   
Easy right?   
Well with Draco by his side it feels like it is possible.

He tries to listen Draco tell about his life after Hogwarts, about the years in Moscow at the ballet academy, about the strict teaching there and perhaps a bit controversial methods used. Harry fears they may have broken Draco more but like he is reading his mind Draco mentions how they gave him the confident to be broken, to let out everything he had pent up since the war. The controlled environment and strict schedules made him function, drove him forwards. And the dancing, his lifeline, kept him sane, kept him alive. 

After being stripped of almost everything he knew, everything he was and would be, dancing was something no one could take away from him. So he came back to London and made his one passion his career. Draco was very versatile and could dance in many different styles, constantly evolving. He had that raw talent. It flowed in his veins. 

Harry admired Draco for his passion, and was extremely happy and grateful to get to witness it. To get a small share of that passion, even be a part of it. If Harry only knew how big a part of that passion was towards him. Maybe he would, maybe Draco could show him with time. 

Beanie woke up from her nap and was taken to join the party in the living room of the cozy house. She played on the floor with her new toys, being occasionally picked up by one of the guests. They held her awhile until she got restless and squirmed around too much. She returned to the floor taking a new toy every time. 

The dancing seemed to be a good topic, the conversation felt never ending. The time flew by and after all of them shared a bit about what they had been up to in the last years, surprisingly much got them back to dancing. Ginny and Luna told about their story, Ginny carefully leaving out Harry as much as she could. She knew it was a bit of a hard topic for him but Harry knew those wounds were almost healed. The void their relationship, however wrong from the beginning, had left was almost filled up by his current thing with Draco.   
Relationship.   
He could maybe start using the right terms for it. 

And so they chat about everything and nothing well past midnight. Beanie was long gone back to sleep, after yawning so cutely in Draco's lap. After circling back to dancing for the 27th time that evening Ginny and Luna asked Draco about the one move from their class that they just couldn't wrap their head around. So Draco got up and showed the girls how it was done. He showed them in various speeds maybe five times before their eyes lit up.   
-Yeah, I think I got it! Luna exclaims, stand up and drags Ginny up by her wrist. 

They mimic Draco and after a few tries they both get the move right. The sheer happiness on Luna's face for making the move work is really touching to all and she grabs Ginny by her hands and jump around her cheering. They end up hugging and dancing and Draco holds out his hand to Harry. Harry looks at Draco like the idiot he is and when Draco just shakes his hand a bit Harry realizes what he wants.

-Oh.. but I don't... He is interrupted by Draco taking his hand and pulling him up. 

Draco pulls harry close and they sway next to Luna and Ginny, dancing slowly to the soft music playing in the house. Ron and Hermione watch them disappear in their own bubbles for awhile and soon join them on the living room floor stepping over the toys their firstborn daughter scattered all over. 

They sway awhile and Harry lets Draco wrap his arms around him. Embraces the muscular arms, the soft touch on his lower back. The scent of Draco when Harry presses his face against his neck. The kiss he feels planted on his forehead. The pounding of a steady heart in the chest that's pressed up against him. The warmth seeping through his clothes, lingering on his skin, heating up his very core. 

And in that moment, when he straightens up, looks Draco in the most beautiful blue grayish eyes, the eyes he can never get over, the eyes haunting his sleep, the eyes he always want to look into again, and sees the love in blue icy grey depth that he feels at peace. He finally feels at home. Draco smiles at him the genuine smile he came to love. Plants his lips against Harry's. The kiss is gentle, soft, warm. Everything he could ever wish it to be. Filled with emotion, meaning, love. 

His heart skips a beat, and it's then he realizes it. 

This is love. 

This is life. 

This is pride.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Woop woop,   
> Almost done!  
> All messing up is on me.  
> Thanks all for reading,  
> lots of love!  
> Cheers mates!


	21. The Epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> London buzzes during the pride parade.  
> Harry Potters life is very different from  
> last year, but also this time the parade   
> gives him much more than pride.

Just like that it's that time of the year again. London is buzzing getting ready for the pride months climax, the annual pride parade. In a small cozy house there's nothing even close to cozy in the air.

-'Mione! Where exactly did you put all the rainbow stuff we made? Ron yelled for the third time.   
-They're right there!   
-Where?   
Ron just stood there looking into the cupboard a confused look on his face. He muttered some swearwords lifting a few lids on the boxes. A curly wild haired wife peeked into the cupboard a giggling one year old on her hip.   
-I told you they were there. She looked at the box that should have been in the middle of the floor.   
-What in the...? She looked just as confused as Ron.

-Tadaa!   
They both spun around almost squeezing Beanie in between them. 

Harry and Draco stood on each side of Beanies stroller that was decorated all over with rainbows. There was a large flag on the other side that had to be bent down to get it out trough the door. The sun hood was covered with rainbow stripes and there was small rainbow flags on a string attached across the front. Harry rounded the stroller and hugged Draco kissing his cheek.  
-They love it! He said and laughed.   
-I knew they would.

-When did you even? Hermione looks at them disbelieving.   
-Like 15 minutes ago, when you tried to get Beanie to eat her greens. Draco smiled and booped Beanies nose.   
-Yeah. Hermione groaned.   
-You wouldn't believe Ron's the father with how fuzzy Beanie is about her greens. Harry smirked winking at Ron.  
Ron looked scandalized.

-Oi! He yelped.  
-Yeah, Ron does eat anything... Draco laughed and punched his arm playfully.  
-Oi! Ron yelped again.   
They all laughed and even Beanie joined in. 

-Lets get rolling! Harry said and chuckled like he was the funniest guy in the house. You'd think Ron would be the master of dad-jokes but Harry had hijacked that role at the christening. And he couldn't ease on the jokes even if they all just groaned loudly whenever he said anything. 

He never told them it reminded him of Sirius. And that was why he just couldn't let it be. He felt closer like this. And sometimes he missed Sirius so much it hurt. Especially on these big family things. Especially today. But he got by every time a little better. Mostly with the help of Draco that seemed to know what it was about. He always smiled extra softly and lovingly when Harry felt most bad. They had that kind of connection. An unspoken thing. And Harry loved it.

They arrived to their meeting point where the Gay Darts club was already waiting. They greeted them, Seamus and Dean babbling with Beanie, The others hugging Scott and Isaac and then the other blokes. Luna and Ginny joined them shortly after and just when the party was almost too loud and too exited the parade started moving. 

Beanie was amazing the whole walk, she waved into the crowd, laughing and giggling. There were so many photos taken of them that they lost count after the second block. And it made Harry feel proud. Of their family. Their own rainbow community. Little Beanie, born on Pride weekend, all godparents gay. Well come to think of it, Beanie had more gay people close to her than straight. And it made Harry glad. 

She was going to be raised knowing everything he hadn't. Not having to be afraid of being abnormal, a freak. He was happy he could make a change in the world, even if it was for one child. He could break the cycle he had been suffering from. He had came such a long way since that. Hell, he had came such a long way even since last years Pride. He had taken it into his heart. Being proud of everything he was, is and will be. 

The parade ended in the same park as last year and they gathered their own group a bit on the side for a massive picnic. Beanies first birthday celebration. There were many blankets laid out, so much snacks of all kind, the atmosphere so glad and cheerful that it reminded Harry of the Feasts in the great hall in Hogwarts. Maybe his fondest memories of the castle he once called home. Now he had a new home and as he looked around at the people he spend his day with it sure felt like home. 

He smiled at Draco who stretched out and kissed him. They lingered in the kiss for as long as they dared at a public place, their kissing still sweeping Harry off his feet. Many times making him forget all about his surroundings. Some times leading to various other activities that definitely should be kept behind bed room doors. 

This past year had been so amazing for Harry, with all the highs, even a few lows. But even the lowest low had been good because he knew they would only come through stronger. He could always depend on their love. That no matter what they were in this together. They came out of this together. They were real, their love was real. Draco had made sure of that. And Harry wished he had made sure of it for Draco. If not he was gonna show Draco today. For real.

After eating and toasting and watching Beanie open all her presents and the most intense parade excitement wearing off a bit Harry stood up. 

-Friends, family. He smiled at everyone, they hollered at "family".  
-We are here to celebrate Beanie, Happy birthday baby girl!   
Cheering.  
-And to celebrate pride.   
Cheering and of course Seamus whistled, the others laughed.  
-I'm so sorry to steal the spotlight a bit from both these extraordinary important festivities but this day means so much to me that it felt like the only option.   
Harry looked around and his friends looked at him a bit confused. Harry wasn't usually big on speeches so it was safe to say it was unexpected.   
-Yeah well so... He hesitated a bit.   
-I'm just gonna go for it. He smiled at Draco.   
Draco lifted his brows.  
Harry knelt down before him.   
The other gasped and before Harry could continue they cheered and screamed turning quite a few heads. 

It became almost ridiculous how loud the were so Seamus once again whistled to quiet the other's down.   
-Let him ask the damn question already! He exclaimed.   
Harry blushed.

-So Draco Malfoy, would you marry me? Make me happy til death do us part?   
Harry noticed mentioning death might have been a bit too dramatic. But he really meant it. He would love Draco until death did them part. Probably even after that. He was sure his love for Draco was the undying kind.   
Draco wiped tears. Harry cried too. 

-Yes of course! He merely whispered, probably annoying the shit out of their friends.   
But he grabbed Harry's hand and pulled him into a hug, unexpected Harry tumbled onto Draco and they ended up on the ground, Draco beneath and Harry on top, hugging each other so tightly they couldn't breathe properly. 

The answer wasn't maybe heard by everyone but it was nothing short of fucking obvious. They cheered and Seamus whistled and even Beanie giggled loudly. And so their rainbow family was complete. 

They let go of each other, sat up and Harry put a small silver ring on Draco's finger. He had almost lost it already tumbling onto Draco, but now it was there on his finger.   
A promise for life. And Harry smiled, for life was no challenge, it was simply meant to be. 

 

After a fun day outside, enjoying everything and everyone Harry and Draco walked back home holding hands. Smiling from ear to ear. To their home. They had decided to get a place that was theirs together from the start. They moved in last month and a few boxes were still unpacked. The new bed hadn't arrived yet. And Harry still felt like the happiest man on earth when they crawled together onto the mattress on the floor. Harry took Draco in his arms and kissed him long and soft. 

\- I love you, pretty boy. And I'm proud to call get to call you husband soon.   
Draco chuckled.  
-I love it when you get all emotional and sappy.   
-You make me like that! Harry scoffed. 

-I love you too. 

Draco smiled softly and kissed Harry a bit more intense. He turned on his back and Harry rolled on top him. The kiss deepens easily, slipping over the sweet and emotional. To the passionate and lustful. Harry intertwined their hands, lacing their fingers together on each side of Draco's head. The silver ring on Draco's finger flashed in the moonlight seeping in through the curtains. The light made Draco seem sheer, lit him in a way so out of this world.   
Just like the day they met, again, on the rooftop. 

That was first day of the rest of their lives. 

A year later everything was even better. Feelings shown, promises made. Futures ahead.

Til death do them part. 

Proudly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi ya'll!  
> So I made it til the end of the fic.  
> I had it all planned out quite early on,  
> but not surprisingly at all it took a very  
> different turn while writing. The result is   
> angstier than I intended, but it seems to  
> be a thing about how I write.   
> I struggled a bit with keeping the story   
> together and hopefully it's quite easy to  
> follow. The dividing it into chapters was   
> harder than I thought, sorry!   
> Anyway the outcome still was better than   
> I expected (still shit but better shit)  
> so thanks a ton for reading!!  
> It means the world to me.  
> Yeah, so this was it, onto the next one!  
> Probably gonna do some Harringrove  
> since I can't stop obsessing about that,  
> whoops!  
> Lots of love,  
> Cheers mates!

**Author's Note:**

> Started this one during the pride happenings last year, its about time to finish it!  
> Hopefully during this month.  
> All messing up is on me, whether is writing or content.  
> Hope you like it!  
> Cheers mate!


End file.
